


THE HOLY BRIDE WAR?? [AUTHOR: SORRY COULDN’T COME UP WITH A BETTER TITLE.]

by AngelaVargas, EngelVargas, FistOfLove



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Attempt at Romance, Brides On The Run, Grooms On The Hunt, Haggard Bodyguards, Kiritsugu Emiya is alive in this story, M/M, More Tags To Add To Be Added Later, Multi, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-02-21 21:58:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13152846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelaVargas/pseuds/AngelaVargas, https://archiveofourown.org/users/EngelVargas/pseuds/EngelVargas, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FistOfLove/pseuds/FistOfLove
Summary: Shirou only wanted to live his life normally, but Fate really is a bitch and loves to screw his life over... it all began when he was only 10 when he lost everything in the Great Fire, with the Holy Grail shattered imbued a shard within a Young Boy to recover, however the Purity of the Boy managed to Overcome its Corruption thus the Boy become the Container of the Purest Mana and had a strong Magic within him. Kiritsugu Emiya saw this and sealed it off after saving the boy.5 Years Later Shirou’s Life is screwed all over again, this time in an amusing way. All thanks to the Man in Blue spearing his heart since Cupid is out on Coffee Break... broke the seal allowing the irresistibly Pure Mana that attracts the Servants, added to his Misfortune he summoned Archer his unwittingly Future self which doubled the trouble. Kotomine seeing this Problem that this (Un)fortunate twist of Fate brought, bended the Rule. Now it’s not only the Holy Grail that the Servants had to fight for, they had to claim the (Un)fortunate Holy Brides as theirs. Luckily for Shirou and Archer, Rin and her Saber is acting as their Guardian in this War.





	1. INTRODUCTION

**Author's Note:**

> HIDE THE BRIDES AND BLOCK THE GROOMS!! 
> 
> SHIROU AND ARCHER MUST SAVE THEIR CHASTITY UNTIL THIS WAR IS OVER!
> 
> OR IS IT? THERE'S A SUAVE SERVANT AMONG THE GROOMS...
> 
> (You Guys Know Who that Guy is... Right?)

 

``

**SHIROU AND ARCHER – THE HOLY BRIDES**

  * **ALL THANKS TO THE HOLY GRAIL SHARD FROM THE FOURTH HOLY GRAIL WAR, THEIR LIFE BECOME TOO HECTIC BY FENDING OFF THE OTHER MASTERS AND SERVANTS FROM COMING AFTER THEM AND MAKING THEM THEIR BRIDES... THERE’S NO WAY THEY’LL BECOME BRIDES TO THESE PEOPLE... OR ARE THEY**



 

* * *

 

 

**RIN AND SABER – THE GUARDIANS**

  * **THE SELF PROCLAIMED GUARDIANS OF THE HOLY BRIDES AFTER FINDING OUT THAT BOTH SHIROU AND ARCHER ARE THE CAUSE OF THE CHANGE IN THE HOLY GRAIL WAR BY BEING THE HOLY BRIDES (WTFH?!!) THEMSELVES.**



 

* * *

 

**OTHER SERVANTS – THE GROOMS?**

  * **ONCE TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER FOR THE HOLY GRAIL, NOW THEY’RE NOT ONLY TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER FOR THE GRAIL THEY’RE COMPETING AND TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER FOR THE ‘HOLY BRIDES’ WITH THE HELP OF THEIR MASTERS.**



 

* * *

 

``

**OTHER MASTERS (EXCEPT CASTER) – THE GROOMS’ MEN?**

  * **THEY’RE FIGHTING TO ASSIST THEIR SERVANTS NOT ONLY TO WIN THE HOLY GRAIL BUT TO CLAIM THE HOLY BRIDES AS WELL... THE WORLD MAY HAVE GONE CRAZY BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHO THE BRIDES ARE MUCH TO THEIR AMUSEMENT.**



 

_TO BE CONTINUED_


	2. CUPID HIRED  THE WRONG GUY!

**[THE END OF THE 4 TH HOLY GRAIL WAR]**

**  
** The Fire consumed everything in its path, Burning, turning everything into ashes. But through the fire a lone young boy walks, staggering, passing all those who are dead, mind not registering everything as he walks through fire, his body is weary, in pain and heavy. Everything was on fire, there’s no one here to hear his cries, he’s alone in this pit of nightmare.

  
He walked, and walked, and walked, and walked not minding the pains and the burns, he stumbled and fall occasionally, Black Mud clings on his skin and shirt.

  
And the last thing he knew before he blacked out is the pain of being hit with something...

  
**[TIMESKIP]**

**[SHIROU’S VIEW]**

**  
** Everything hurts, he wants it to stop. He wants the pain to go away. Everything is so dark, why is it so dark? And so cold... He was floating in the endless sea of darkness, until a person who looks much like him only much older appeared before his eyes, he could feel the intense Anger and Hatred to the world... And yet... there is this heartbreaking sadness and loneliness...

  
“Hello... My Name is Shirou, who are you? Are you... lost too?” Shirou asked quietly.

  
The look alike before him, just stared at him with those cold, dead green eyes. But then, the look alike reached out and poked him in his forehead, and soon a rush of memories flooded his head.

**  
~*~**

He is Avenger, his True Name is Angra Mainyu , originally believed to be the Persian god of darkness himself. In reality, he was no more than an ordinary villager. A human that was freed from the confines of Order by having his name expelled from the Avesta, The Universal Revelation of Inscribed Creation. One day, he was randomly chosen as the "source of all evil in the world" by his village and was tortured and sacrificed in the following rituals. The villagers believed that from the moment humans are born, there is evil in them. Since it was impossible to be freed from malice just through clean, righteous living, the only way to realize the true goodness of human beings was to force "all the evils of the world" onto one person and blame him as the true source of any human evil. If one person embodies all the evils of the world, the rest of the people cannot be evil, no matter what. This was the simple, childlike theory they all invested in.

  
So they continuously tortured him until he went insane. They captured him, beat him, carved every word that cursed mankind onto his body, forced every sin imaginable upon him, took out bits and pieces of him slowly, defiled his mind with absolute evil, and held him responsible for all of it in the world. They would not allow him to die until he succumbed to old age. He had a curse put on him as a result, one made of the great evil that he was to represent. He was shocked at first at the senselessness of it at all. Eventually he started wondering who it was he should hate. However, Avenger himself only felt anger and hatred towards the world and the people that mercilessly executed him. His forced sacrifice eased the confused minds of his people, which despite being unintentional, qualified him to become a Heroic Spirit.

  
He only despised mankind of his own accord during the first few years, but after that, the hate became a natural function for him rather than an emotion; hate was the state he was always in, so it was only natural for him to continue hating everything without any other reason. By that time, he forgave and tolerated humanity for whatever sins they may cause while hating them. The world is worth hating. The imbalances were evened out by his hatred, so the people could be absolved of all guilt and live freely. But that kind of  _"forgiveness"_  is also the same type that validates any evils that humans may perform.

  
Yet as the time passed by and he saw many rises and fall of generations, he realized that while he still hated humans for what they did, he still loved the world. Of course, the people that put him up there, his family, his loved ones, the people he hated, died long before he did. The village changed over the generations, expanding, declining; people reviled him, people feared him, people scorned him, and yet they revered him as the sign of their salvation. But he could do nothing but hate, since that was the only thing he could communicate to the world.

**~*~**

**  
** Shiro looked at the Person in front of him sadly, he’s more hurt and sad for the person than frightened... he don’t know what it felt like to be in this person’s place, all those pain and suffering, he couldn’t fathom them, but

  
“Betrayal is an ironic thing. He or she betrays you then you betray yourself. You think you’re showing strength with your anger, but in reality you’re showing how much you still care.” He said quietly still looking at the person in front of him. “Your future can be changed by one decision. One good thing can offset a mountain of bad. But you need to choose.”

  
Angra Mainyu just stared at the strange boy before him, how can someone so young could say such a thing to him. The boy knows nothing of his pain and yet... and yet he said those things so easily. Does the boy didn’t understand that he’s right in front of the "source of all evil in the world"?

  
“I’m not scared... I’m sad... I’m sad that you had to go through all that... you’re lonely too, for so long you’ve been alone with no friends to talk to...” Shirou said sadly, he felt his eyes stings.

  
Angra Mainyu couldn’t believe what he is seeing right now, a Naive boy crying for such a trivial thing like ‘Feelings’. Why would this boy cry for him? No one had ever done that to him.

  
“Hey... we could be friends...” Shirou said smiling sincerely at him.

  
Angra Mainyu wanted to laugh at such a thing, friends... he had friends once, before he was forcibly chosen to become the being he is now. None of those friends ever come to help him, none ever come to comfort him nor even talked to him. And this naive boy wanted to be friends with ‘ _him_ ’ of all people. Such innocence of this child, it’s so Pure that he wanted to bask into, but he fears that he would only taint the boy.

  
“Let’s be friends!” Shirou smiled brightly reaching out.

  
The boy reminded him of his Twin Brother Spenta Mainyu, The brightness of his smile and happiness, he and his twin may have been opposite of each other but not once he ever hated Spenta, his memory may be blur but he could sense that Spenta had been there when he’s in too much pain, he could hear Spenta crying.

  
And now this boy, Shirou... appeared before him... asking him to be friends. He wanted to give this a chance...

  
He wanted to try... He wanted to enjoy life, like he used to before he was chosen to be the Sacrifice, so...

  
He reached his tattooed hand and held the smaller one.

  
To his surprise, the boy smiled up at him so bright...

  
The boy... is too pure... so pure and innocent...

  
Just like Spenta, his Twin Brother...

  
He couldn’t afford to hate this boy...

  
He’ll watch this boy grow and enjoy watching this boy struggle in life and see what he can do about it.

  
The Darkness that once surrounding the place is replaced by what looks like an astral field. It’s almost like the universe descended and lighten up the Darkness that once ruled the Boy’s Mind.

  
Heh... Life is going to be interesting for this boy...

  
**[MAJOR TIMESKIP]**

 **  
** Shirou, age 17 currently studying at Homurahara High School as a 2nd Year, he’s a good friend of Issei Ryuudou, and became known as someone who would readily do anything to help others, such as fixing the school equipment. And fixing school equipments is what he is doing right now and it’s getting late, and he needs to get back home.

  
So Packing things up and he’s ready to leave.

  
_‘Fuji-nee is so going to kill me for being late...’_

  
So it was with these thoughts in mind that Shirou made it to the school courtyard when he heard that fateful clash of steel.

  
Shirou turned full sprint back to the school building. His senses were at an all time high as adrenalin began to pump into his brain. There was a somewhat familiar voice yelling out 'Wait, Saber!', but Shirou couldn't quite recognize who it was. It didn't matter, as he was more focused on getting himself away from those monsters.

  
Shirou did not dare turn around to see if he was being chased. It wasn't until he reached the school's second floor corridor that he deemed it safe enough to check for any pursuers.

  
"Well, what do we have here?" a masculine voice inquired.

  
Shirou jumped back in surprise. The voice sounded close, yet there was nobody around him. As Shirou searched his immediate area, a dim blue light suddenly materialized into the blue haired man from earlier just a few steps before him.

  
"Damn. Didn't expect for someone to have been around during my fight with the blondie." the man sighed resignedly. He wasn't even looking towards Shirou, rather inspecting his lance lazily held in his right hand. "I really hate to be the one to do this, but orders are orders. Can't leave any witnesses. Deadmen tell no tales, and all that" he spoke as he approached as a predator would its prey.

  
"What?" a squeak escaped from Shirou. His legs were shaking, but he couldn't force them to run, barely managing his right foot to take a step back.

  
"Sorry, kid. Nothing personal, just curse your crappy luck for being at the wrong place at the wrong time."

  
Before Shirou could even retort, he felt a sudden pain in his chest. It wasn't excruciating. It was a quick flash of pain, and he barely had the chance to look down at himself to see where it was coming from.

  
It was a stab to his heart. The stranger's red lance had pierced him.

  
The blue haired man had disappeared by the time Shirou looked up again but could still hear his voice disembodied. "Sheesh. It's a sick joke for a hero being forced to act like this. My master really is a shitty person."

  
Shirou body was feeling too heavy, he fell to his left side and his eyes began to lose focus. He could suddenly hear yelling from the stairway.

  
There was a strong smell of iron and a wet feeling spreading around his torso. Shirou realized it was his own blood.

  
"...If his heart was hit, there's no way of saving him..."

  
It was the female voice from earlier. Shirou thought haphazardly

  
It was here where Shirou felt himself enter and leave consciousness several times. He couldn't move, but his unfocused eyes tried to make out recognizable figures.

  
"...Why are you here!?..."

  
"...Why did you have to pick this hour on this day to be here!?.."

  
"...Will he be well...?" another feminine voice asked with a hint of concern.

  
Shirou saw two frames. Both female, one in red and the other in blue. Both were nothing more than fuzzy images in his eyes.

  
"...There's still a way..."

  
There was a sudden weight on his chest and almost immediately a red light filled his unfocused vision before he once more lost consciousness.

  
**[WITHIN THE GREATER GRAIL]**

 **  
** Angra Mainyu flinched when he felt a sting in his chest, it’s been so long since he’s connected to the Boy, seeing through his eyes and hearing through the boy’s ears. Though he only limits his connection, but he’s still there, Shirou is his only source of knowledge of what the outside world looks like.

  
And that stinging pain in his chest, did that boy got in trouble again?

  
**_*Sigh*_**

 ** _  
_** Whoever’s trying to kill the boy, they’ll had it coming once he finds the right time...

  
**[MAJOR TIMESKIP]**

**[SHIROU’S POV]**

**  
** It was darker outside once I had come to my senses.

  
I felt very tired and could feel an ache in my chest. If it weren't for a fact that I was on school grounds, I would have believed it all to be a horrible dream. There was no pool of blood. Only a patch of crimson on my uniform shirt from where I was stabbed, and I noted that my shirt was no longer teared as well.

  
While forcing myself to stand, I suddenly stumbled to my knees. I blinked several times and sensed my sight regaining its focus. It was here, bent down, where I noticed a red gem necklace that was lying next to me.

  
It was the only clue left by the the pair that both found and healed me.

  
I pocketed it.

  
Fuyuki City was quiet.

  
The street lights guided my path to the Emiya residence.

  
It was all I got from my always busy father since he's always away from home. The way home left me thinking about the recent events and the surprise I had from the lack of any damage from the swordswoman's and lancer's confrontation. I expected small craters, cuts on walls, holes on the ground. Yet nothing was out of place. As if nothing had happened in the first place.

  
Once reaching the entrance of the residence, I made it to the living room and crashed onto the floor to rest. Safe to say I was exhausted, but felt much better than when I woke up at school. I lifted my shirt and traced my fingers over the area of skin that was pierced with the red lance.

  
Not even a scar was left.

  
I felt uneasy. Everything pinpointed to being a dream, yet I knew better. Whatever those two cosplayers were, they were using magic. The lance-man's disappearing trick was magic, too. For anyone else, magic would be a childish explanation. But I knew it was true.

  
I was a magus, after all. A crappy one, yet a magus all the same.

  
And as my late father, Kiritsugu, had taught: 'To use magic is to walk with death'. In simple terms, once someone has learned of magic, and practiced the craft, their life would be in danger.

  
I was tired. I felt my body wanting to rest, and for a moment I was about to slip into the realm of dreams when...

  
_TING_

 _  
_ I quickly rolled to my right to dodge a stab where my head previously rested. I felt fear creep at me as I saw my reflection produced by the steel from the same weapon that had nearly killed me a few hours ago.

  
The bell that Kiritsugu had hang from the ceiling had alarmed me of the arrival of a trespasser. My adoptive father had always been paranoid about unexpected guests for some reason...

  
I guess his paranoia paid off.

  
"Damn it, kid. I wanted to make your death quick and painless as possible and you show me your gratitude by staying alive?" the lance-man complained angrily. He pulled his weapon out of the now tears wooden floor.

  
I quickly grabbed the nearest object to me, which was a poster my guardian brought home the night before. I used my _Reinforcement_

magic to make it more durable.

  
"Now, I guess I'll have to make your death more painful!" the older male declared with a feral toothy grin. "Enough to make sure you'll want to stay dead!"

  
With speed I could barely keep up with my eyes, the lance-man leaped towards me. I would freely admit that my arms rose, not from experience, but instinctively, to block the lance's pierce with the reinforced rolled poster. Thankfully, it was enough to slide the lance off course, only managing to graze my cheek.

  
"So magecraft, huh?" The feral man asked rhetorically. "Now this might be more interesting than I thought!".

  
I saw no point to try and fight this guy. It was obvious to me who was stronger; so seeing how bad my situation was, I did what was left for me to do.

  
I ran.

  
The lancer-man was hot on my trail, so with escape being my priority, I threw myself towards the nearest exit, a glass sliding door that lead to the backyard.

  
**_CRACK_**!

  
In pursuit for something stronger than a poster, I headed towards the shed in my backyard. The same shed where I would tinker with machines. A room full of wrenches, large keys, and the like. The spot where I would secretly practice the few magic spells I knew.

  
Hearing steps getting increasingly louder, I turned to see the blue man thrust his weapon at me. I quickly raised my reinforced poster and unrolled it for cover. The stress produced by the force of the lance was too strong for my item. It was only natural for it to break.

  
The recoil produce sent me soaring into my workshop.

  
"I don't get it." spoke my attacker, "Your able to use magecraft yet your only able to use weak spells. Maybe if your situation had been different you could have been the seventh. Well...too bad for you, I guess."

  
I turned to him, my back facing the ground. I crawled backwards to create some space, but I knew deep down that it was pointless.

  
I was going to die here.

  
There was no way I could beat this guy. He was faster, stronger, and more experienced than I.

  
I was going to die here.

  
Even if I escaped, this guy was most likely going to keep hunting me down.

  
I was going to die here.

  
It was frustrating that my life was going to end before I even got to accomplish my dream.

  
And suddenly a memory flickered into my mind. A giant fire consuming homes, streets, people; burning everything and everyone indiscriminately. A Hell that I was all too familiar with. A Hell where I both 'died' and was 'born' again. Where a boy that was beyond saving met a man desperately looking for someone to save...

  
I didn't want to die here.

  
I couldn't die here.

  
"...I won't die here..." I found myself saying.

  
The blue-man paused his assault to look at me with curiosity. "What can you possibly do as you are now, kid?" the man ask with sardonic amusement. "Perhaps you could have been a Master, even with your pathetic magic circuits, you would have had at least a chance to survive!" he spoke with a chuckle.

  
"I won't die here! Not yet! Not when I haven't even come close to accomplishing my dream! And definitely not against someone who kills people as if it were a sport!" I felt my prana flowing through me, magical energy resonating with my desire to keep living and searching for some way to materialize it.

  
If my attacker was fascinated by my demonstration of resolve, he didn't show it, opting to take another step and thrust his spear at me. Yet mid-thrust, the lancer-man was not staring at me, rather, he was staring _below me._

  
I searched down and saw blue electricity flowing out of my hand. Which had been place over a spell circle that I had even forgotten was there.

  
"A Servant Circle!?" the blue-man asked in shock, consequently pausing his attack.

  
The familiar blue materialization occurred. A humanoid light form gave shape to a man. A man that seemed eerily familiar, yet I knew for a fact I had never seen this man before. He was tanned, with white hair, well-toned; garbed with a black, skin tight body armor covered by a red coat.

  
There was another burst of magic, this time from the summoned man, and twin swords appeared within his hands, clashing against the lance that was being held before him. The lance-man skidded away to make some distance. No doubt to assess the situation.

  
This brief respite allowed me to take in my new guest.

  
For some reason I felt a small headache by just looking at him.

  
I could only stare at his back in confusion. There was something about him. A certain fascination crossing with admiration.

  
**_TSSS_**

  
I grunt in pain, on my right hand there is suddenly a symbol I don't recognize being burned onto my hand. I can somewhat give it the form of a...bow?

  
"I must ask you." His voice was deep and detached. Icy, even. Yet it cut the intense atmosphere like a hot knife would against butter and manages to distract me from my new tattoo, "Are you my master?"

  
I was once more confused and somewhat afraid, but at the same time I was mesmerized as he turned to face me.

  
My amber eyes met his steel gray.

  
I would never forget this moment, I decided.

  
This moment where fate had us meet.

  
_TO BE CONTINUED_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this chapter on behalf of FistOfLove...
> 
> Since the idiot is drowning in the sea of brats that I am currently babysitting.
> 
> Blame anything on the idiot if you find things weird, I really have no clue what I am going to do with this story.
> 
> So here ya go... 1st Chapter...
> 
> Now if you please excuse me... I have to rescue a Certain idiot from the mob of Baby Gangstas that I was supposed to look after...
> 
> *Struts away like a Boss*


	3. WHAT THE HELL  IS GOING ON?!

**[SHIROU’S POV]**

**  
** "By the calling of your summons, I, the Servant-Class Archer, have responded to your will." the tanned man suddenly broke the silence, "I ask of you again: are you my Master?"

  
Sill unable to voice my thoughts, I stared dumbly at the red garbed stranger. He appeared to notice my troubled state and turned towards the direction the blue themed lancer had fled.

  
"The other Servant seems to still be nearby. Your instructions, Master?" It was obvious for me to note that he seemed to assume that I am his 'Master'. I honestly had no idea what was going on.

  
It took a moment for me to stand up and collect my thoughts while trying to make either head or tails of the situation.

  
"I..." my voice finally returned, "I would like you to explain to me what's going on," I ask as politely as possible. I ignored the uncertainty my voice held in exchange for appearing more assured of myself than I actually was.

  
The tanned man raises an eyebrow, "I see... I was summoned by an irregular Master." He sighs. I can feel the disappointment and resignation wave off from him. "Oh well, I suppose it falls onto me to inform you." He gives a noncommittal shrug. "But that can wait until after I deal with the enemy.", at this, the white-haired man exited the shed without even sparing a glance back.

  
I stood in my spot dumbfounded by the man's behaviour.

  
What the hell was that!?

  
I chased after this new stranger only to catch sight of both him and the lance-man facing each other in my yard. They were silent but the tension was so thick you could cut it with a kitchen knife.

  
"So you came? Nice." Spoke the blue intruder, "I'm okay with people who get down to business." my attacker grabbed his lance and positioned himself for battle. Like so, he gazed towards my guest's weapons, "You don't strike me as a Saber-class servant, and I already fought the official one. Who are you?"

  
I took notice that he called the white-haired man a 'servant'.

  
"Heh. Well, you don't seem like the proper single-combat type either. I'm guessing you're an Archer?" As he spoke, the blue-man relaxed his stance, "Ah, I forgot my manners. As you can tell by my weapon, I'm Lancer." my would-be-killer introduced himself with a suave smile. You wouldn't think him to be the kind of guy that almost murdered someone.

  
On a side-note, I do recall my tanned saviour introducing himself as the 'Servant-Class Archer'. Lancer's deduction is spot on...

  
As it appears, the identified Archer neither responds nor moves from his spot and ignored that Suave look on Lancer’s face. Rather, he turns his head to regard me as if expecting a command.

  
It took a moment for me to connect the dots. Archer is a 'Servant' and I'm his 'Master'. It's only natural for a servant to await his master's command before doing battle.

  
Honestly, I found the idea of commanding another human being sickening.

  
"Go ahead, Archer, take out your bow. I'll wait for you." the Lancer-class servant offered courteously.

  
With Archer's gaze still on me, I now understood what exactly he was expecting of me: Permission to fight Lancer. And with Lancer's battle-thirsty personality, it's obvious he wants to fight, too.

  
But I had to at least try and prevent the situation coming to that. It's true that this guy is dangerous, but maybe I could reason with him. With that in mind, I took a few steps forward to talk with the blue-haired man.

  
"Excuse me, Lancer, we don't have to fight! There has to be anoth-"

  
"Quiet, kid!" Lancer shot me down, "You seem to still not get what's going on here. Archer and I were fated to fight a battle to the death the moment we were summoned. So you better send out your Servant to fight or I'll just go ahead and skewer the both of you." he threatened nonchalantly. It was frightening how easily he spoke of killing people.

  
I wanted to keep arguing and try to stop Lancer, but I could tell it would just irritate him more. So I turned to my Servant who had not once stopped regarding at me.

  
Yet this time I felt as if he was studying me with an intensity that wasn't there before.

  
With great reluctance, I resigned myself to the fight that was to come and spoke loud and clear, "Alright, then. Archer...defeat Lancer!"

  
The instant I commanded him to fight, I felt a sudden drain in my body. There was a shift in the atmosphere around the white-haired man, a gust surged and flowed around his body. The wind suddenly turned blue, and it was then that I understood the sudden gust for what it was: magical energy, also known as Prana. As the Prana finally settled down, the clash finally began.

  
It was almost like being at the school yard again.

  
_'Cling!'_

  
Scratch that. It was the same exact intensity of the school yard battle.

  
Both warriors moved almost faster than my eyes could keep up with. What I could see was Lancer being the first to attack, thrusting his lance aimed towards Archer's chest, who himself used both swords to block the strike. What followed after the clash of steel was a volley of movements that sent sparks flying.

  
The grunting of exertion from both men, the cracking of the earth beneath them, and the clash of steel upon steel were the only sounds to be heard.

  
Lancer was the faster of the two; swinging, pulling, and thrusting his red weapon at superhuman speeds wherever he could see an opening. All while donning a feral smile.

  
On the other end, Archer was not dealing so well. The red-garbed man held a poker face during the entire exchange, but even I could tell he was having some difficulty keeping up with the blue-themed-lancer. Yet Archer would jump, dodge, and deflect the other man's blows just as quickly as they were launched at him.

  
But what captivated me the most was how the Hero of the Bow fought.

  
Although, independently of how the tanned man was barely keeping up, I admired how he matched Lancer blow for blow. It was as if he was able to predict his movements before Lancer thought of them himself.

  
Then and there I decided that I wanted to learn how to fight like him. And for some odd reason I felt Rejuvenated, I don’t feel Drained anymore.

  
**[WITHIN THE GREATER GRAIL]**

 **  
** The Last Servant has been summoned, so the War has finally begun. Angra Mainyu could Sense that Shirou is having Difficulties on his Magic Circuit and his Prana Reserves...

  
“I guess it’s time for the brat to fight... I wonder how old the little brat is...” Angra Mainyu muttered to himself as he tapped on his Connection to that Little Fragment of the Lesser Grail.

  
He’ll unlock that Seal that keeps the Boy’s Prana inside, Shirou is his only connection to the Outside World and it would be a great loss if the Boy dies, so... He unlocks that Seal and let the Pure Prana Flow... Shirou’s Pure Prana is stronger than a Normal One so it’ll help the boy at the very least.

  
**[NORMAL VIEW]**

 **  
** And little does Angra Mainyu know that he had sealed the fate of many Masters and Servants And Sending both the unsuspecting Brownie (Shirou) and his Servant (Archer) who is not yet Legal to be Married to their amusing doom.

  
**[THIRD PERSON]**

  
"Are you sure it is wise to be about at this time of night, Master?" the blond knight inquired at her companion.

  
"I already told you to call me by my name, Saber!" the teen girl scolded hotly.

  
"Please forgive me, Rin. I suppose it's a habit I will need to work on. But you still haven't answered my question." The raven-haired twin-tailed teen looked away from her armoured protector with an imperious expression.

  
"And I told you that I won't be able to sleep at night if Lancer does follow through with killing that guy."

  
"While I do admire your strong sense of responsibility, Rin, there is no need for you to endanger yourself by coming out with me at night. I am more than capable of-"

  
"No!" Interrupted the taller female, "I can very much handle myself, Saber. At least enough to hold my own against a Servant long enough to summon you with a Command Spell." Rin then turned towards her companion to look straight in her eyes. "Also, what kind of Second Owner would I be if I let someone under my watch die?"

  
The petit blond sighed resignedly at her master. Honestly, she could be quite stubborn but very well-meaning, as the knight knew firsthand.

  
"Very well, then. But at least promise to maintain a safe distance while I fight. It would not do well for enemies to take advantage of your presence while on the battlefield." Saber requested earnestly.

  
"Alright, but don't think I won't step in if I see a chance opening." The magus countered, "Also, if anyone even dares to try and attack me, I'll make sure they learn their lesson!" Rin promised with wink.

  
Saber couldn't help but show a soft smile. Honestly, she was endeared to her Master's strong will.

  
"Fair enough."

  
_'Cling!'_

  
The familiar sound of battle echoed into the experienced knight's ears. Saber instinctively brought out her weapon and pointed it to where the source came from.

  
"Rin, there is a Servant battle just up ahead!" She warned and then her nose twitched, as she caught whiff of a faint enticing scent.

  
"A servant battle?! You mean there's more than one?!" the raven-haired girl gawked in surprise.

  
"Yes. I am sure one of them is Lancer, judging by our earlier reasoning. But I'm curious to know who the other one could be and there is something weird going on. Your instructions, Rin?"

  
The young magus mulled over her options. While it's true that she, like Saber, was understandably _very_

curious to discover who this other Servant is; it's not something she wanted to risk Emiya's life over. Yet she was conflicted between what she should do as a magus and what she wanted to do as any concerned person would want to do.

  
"We'll observe first. If Emiya is involved in the battle, we'll rush in to save him." the Tohsaka heir decided.

  
"And if the boy is the master of this other servant?"

  
Emiya? A master? Hah! To that to be true would imply that he was actually a magus. Maybe once pigs start flying!

  
**[BACK TO EMIYA HOUSEHOLD]**

**[SHIROU’S POV]**

  
As the battle waged on, as soon as Archer had an opportunity he leaped to create some distance.

  
"You fool!", yelled the red lance warrior while he chased after his prey at superhuman speed.

  
As the tanned man touched the ground he immediately had to raise both swords to block his attacker's incoming weapon and launched a roundhouse kick to the blue themed Lancer.

  
As a result, Lancer was sent skidding back a few meters.

  
"Hahaha! Not bad, Archer! I honestly didn't expect you to keep up with me," Lancer declared excitedly. It's incredible to me how he barely even appeared winded from the entire exchange.

  
"I'm honestly disappointed, Lancer," Archer responded in return. It was barely noticeable, but he seemed ever so slightly more exhausted than his opponent. "I actually expected you to be far more challenging. Being who you are and all." the Hero of the Bow taunted.

  
"Hoh? And who am I, might I ask?"

  
"With your characteristics, only five Lancers come to mind. But with your agility, you stand head and shoulders above them all. You're none other the Ireland's Child of Light: Cu Chulainn," Archer spoke with finality.

  
Lancer frowned slightly before taking a pause. He makes an irritated expression before regarding his enemy fully, "Damn, and here I was actually enjoying the fight. Well, my Master is ordering me to finish you off. So, how 'bout we kick it up a notch?!",

  
Lancer finishes with a war-cry and leaps forward. The Irishman exerts a great force as Archer tries to block off the attack. Only for Archer's sword to break upon the force of contact.

  
"I got you!" Lancer crows as he prepares to stab his opponent. The impending red lance seems to almost touch upon the tanned man's chest before the familiar clang of steel resounds once more.

  
It took me a moment to notice that where there was once only the handle of Archer's black sword, was now an exact copy of the same sword.

  
I could have sworn that Archer's sword had broken. And as to prove me right, next to me were shards of what used to be Archer's black sword. I take a moment to scrutinize it.

  
Pieces of what used to be Kanshou, also known as Gan-Jiang. One of the 'married' twin swords conforming of Kanshou and Bakuya.

  
I reel in and freeze. I realize that I had unintentionally used Structural Analysis on something without touching it. Well, that was a first. Before I could try and analyze the pieces again, it converts decays once more into Mana. But that’s weird, are all Mana is Light Blue in colour?

  
Gathering my bearings, I focus my attention on the ongoing battle. Lancer is continuing his onslaught on Archer, growing more and more tenacious as he keeps shattering through Archer's swords as if they were made of glass. I scrutinize Archer's hands, studying how he keeps producing those swords until I notice a clear, yet faint, streams of light blue. Prana, I recognize. But does that mean he's using...?!

  
"This is getting annoying, Archer!" The Irishman declares with clear frustration on his face. "How long are you going to keep this up?"

  
"I don't know, Lancer. How long are you going to keep fighting?" The white-haired man responds sarcastically as he disengages with his enemy.

  
Lancer clicks his tongue at Archer's remark before he, too, creates more space between them. "I do admit it's been fun, Archer. I never would have thought that a single bowman would ever be able to challenge, let alone keep up, with me.", as he spoke, the blue-themed Lancer positions himself in an awkward stance. "But all good things must come to an end...".

  
“Sounds like you’re breaking up with me.” Archer said with a taunting smirk

  
Lancer points his red spear towards Archer, though the Bluenette had this Pink Blush on his cheeks,

  
“YOU!” Lancer cried out in embarrassment a sudden burst of red emits from the spear's tip and covers the entire pole-arm. I feel a dark sensation coming from the weapon. Whatever Lancer is about to do is clearly dangerous. But I honestly don't know what it is or how I can stop it! Damn it!

  
Archer himself doesn't even move from his position. I wonder just how much of it is calm reassurance and how much is him actually knowing what's going to happen. What the hell is he thinking!

  
"Well, it was nice knowing you Archer," Lancer pulls back his arm for a throw, "I hope we can fight again someday, 'til then, rest in peace! Gae..Bol-"

  
"Saber, go!"

  
Lancer's attention was then diverted by a sudden blur of yellow, gray, and blue. A strike that almost took Irishman's head was blocked by the red lance that no longer emitted an ominous energy. The clash of weapons lasted only a moment, which was long enough for me to see Archer's possible saviour.

  
It was her again. The elegant beauty from the school yard battle. I was once more captivated by her.

  
I wasn't alone in my musing as Archer, too, was gazing at the blond knight. Yet unlike me, who starred in awe, the tanned man held an expression of mixed surprise, longing, and sadness. It lasted a few seconds before his countenance fell into its usual eye-closed coldness.

  
With the turn of his head, Archer stared back at me. Our eyes met and I suddenly felt my vision shift.

  
I felt a headache hit me in full force.

  
**~*~**

_And suddenly a memory flickered into my mind. A giant fire consuming homes, streets, people; burning everything and everyone indiscriminately. A Hell that I was all too familiar with. A Hell where I both 'died' and was 'born' again. Where a boy that was beyond saving met a man desperately looking for someone to save..._

_  
I didn't want to die here._

_  
I couldn't die here._

_  
"...I won't die here..." I found myself saying. "I won't die here! Not yet! Not when I haven't even come close to accomplishing my dream! And definitely not against someone who kills people as if it were a sport!" I felt my prana flowing through me, magical energy resonating with my desire to keep living and searching for some way to materialize it._

_  
"A Servant Circle!?" the blue-man asked in shock, consequently pausing his attack._

_  
The familiar blue materialization occurred. A humanoid light form gave shape to a woman. She was fair skinned, with blond hair made into a bun, petite; garbed with a blue dress, steel plate chest armour with arm guards and with what seemed to be magic spells crafted onto them._

_  
There was another burst of magic, this time from the summoned woman. She extended both arms to her right side, holding onto something that wasn't there, or was there, against the lance that was being held before her. The lance-man skidded away to make some distance. No doubt to assess the situation._

_  
This brief respite allowed me to take in my new guest._

_  
I could only stare at her back in confusion. There was something about her. A certain fascination crossing with admiration._

_  
**TSSS**_

_  
I grunt in pain, on my right hand there is suddenly a symbol I don't recognize being burned onto my hand. I can somewhat give it the form of a...bow?_

_  
"I must ask you." Her voice was firm yet kind. Yet it cut the intense atmosphere like a hot knife would against butter and manages to distract me from my new tattoo, "Are you my master?"_

_  
I was once more confused and somewhat afraid, but at the same time I was mesmerized as she turned to face me._

_  
She was beautiful._

_  
My amber eyes met her sky blue._

_  
I would never forget this moment, I decided._

_  
This moment where fate had us meet._

**~*~**

  
I fell my headache lift a bit.

  
I tried to process what I just experienced.

  
That was me, I was sure of it. And all that had just happened, yet just not as it did. If any of that made sense...

  
But I summoned Archer. Not Saber. That much is certain. I scanned around for Archer, who had moved to stand a few feet closer to me. He said nothing as he preferred to analyze the ongoing fight.

  
"Damn it." Grunted Lancer as he stood several meters away from Saber, "Two against one is just too much for me right now. Guess I'll just have to cut my losses..." declared the Irishman.

  
"Are you running away, Lancer!?" Saber demanded indignantly.

  
"Yeah, I am." he responded nonchalantly as he leaped towards the roof my house, but before he leaves he shots Archer a look. “Well, Before I leave... I do want to say to you Archer that the Next time we meet I won’t go easy on you... and Oh! I do complement your Wonderful Scent, I hope to get to know you better when we’re not at war. See Ya!”

  
After Lancer left, Silence engulfed the Household...

  
Silence...

  
And

  
What the fuck Moment...

  
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” Shirou cried out.

  
Archer just stood there dumbfounded... Did... Did Lancer just...

  
“Did that guy just Flirted with Archer?!” Shirou cried out.

  
Rin could only just stare in disbelief... Not only Emiya is a Master... Lancer had just Flirted with Emiya’s Servant? And what’s with the ‘ _SCENT_ ’ that Lancer just mentioned? She didn’t smell anything weird... though judging by Saber’s constant twitching, Rin could tell that Saber is restraining herself from jumping Archer... wait... she’s starring at Shirou as well...

  
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

  
_TO BE CONTINUED_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still on behalf of the Idiot... I had to post this Chapter...
> 
> He dragged me into this,so Blame him not me if you find things weird...
> 
> To be honest... I wonder how he passed his Art Subject and any subject related to having a Good Imagination thing if he doesn't have that much imagination...
> 
> BAH! Why am I worrying about that runt, I have a Grocery Lists and Bills to Worry about.


	4. FOLLOW UP BRIDE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE EMIYA TRIO (KIRITSUGU, SHIROU AND ARCHER)... ARE FUCKED... SO FUCKED... ACCORDING TO SEIICHIYAMI...

` `

**KIRITSUGU EMIYA - (He's got a gun, so be very careful)**

  * **A FORMER MAGUS KILLER, HUSBAND TO IRISVILE VON EINZBERN. LITTLE DOES HE KNOW THAT HIS WIFE IS A CLOSET FUJOSHI AND HAD BEEN SHIPPING HIM WITH ANYONE SHE SEES FIT... FATHER TO ILLYASVIEL VON EINZBERN, SHIRO EMIYA AND ARCHER EMIYA, THANKS TO HIS PARTICIPATION IN THE 4 TH GRAIL WAR, HE’S NOW INVOLVED TO THE MESS HIS SONS ARE IN. HE HAD NO IDEA THAT ANGRA MAINYU IS CONNECTED TO SHIROU.**



* * *

  

` `

**DIARMUID UA DUIBHNE - (He got two Spears so be very very careful)**

  * **KIRITSUGU’S GUARDIAN, TO THE GRAIL’S MERCY HE IS GIVEN A CHANCE TO LIVE AND SERVE ANOTHER MASTER. SO UNDER KIRITSUGU’S AND IRISVIEL’S CARE, HE VOWED TO SERVE AND PROTECT HIS MASTERS AND THEIR CHILDREN, NO MATTER WHAT. HIS MASTERS AND HIS FAMILY ARE HIS PRIORITY, SO BIG BROTHER DIARMUID IS GOING TO PROTECT THEM... (GROOMS YOU BETTER WATCH IT... DIARMUID UA DUIBHNE IS BACK...)**  



* * *

 

 

` `

**IRISVIEL VON EINZBERN - (She's nice...)**

  * **WIFE TO KIRITSUGU EMIYA, ADOPTIVE MOTHER TO SHIROU AND ARCHER EMIYA, THE OTHER MASTER OF DIARMUID UA DUIBHNE, SHE’S A CLOSET FUJOSHI ALONG WITH TAIGA FUJIMURA, AND NOW SHE’S GOING TO ENJOY SEEING HER HUSBAND RUNNING AROUND OR AWAY FROM ANY GROOMS THAT WANTED HIS HAND (Oh Lord!) AND WATCH DIARMUID SWEEP HIS MASTER OFF HIS FEET IN ATTEMPT ON PROTECTING HIS MASTER’S CHASTITY (Yeah right!)...**



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SINCE I'M BEING PESTERED FOR COUNTLESS OF TIME SO HERE
> 
> SINCE KIRITSUGU IS ALIVE AND WELL WHY NOT MAKE HIM A BRIDE TOO.
> 
> AND THERE HAD BEEN PEOPLE BITCHING AND MOANING THAT WHY IS THERE ONLY FEW DIARMUID IN THE STORY, SO HERE... I'M GOING TO ADD THAT GUY TOO...
> 
> AND A CLOSET FUJOSHI IRISVIEL... THERE YA GO...


	5. OH GOD!  HELL NOH!!

**[MAJOR TIMESKIP]**

**  
** “Let me get this straight! I entered the Holy Grail War? And that blue guy...” Shirou floundered.

  
“A Servant... an Enemy...” Archer shots back.

  
“But then... why did he flirt with you?” Shirou blinked.

  
“How the hell should I know? I thought he was flirting with you.” Archer nipped back.

  
“He’s looking at you not me!” Shirou cried out his cheeks dusted with pink.

  
Rin and Saber watched the exchange, it’s been an hour since the attack and now both Archer and Shirou are arguing back and forth after explaining the Grail war to the befuddled Brownie until it ended up on who was being flirted with whom by Lancer. To be honest, the two are being an idiot at once, none of them knew that they were emitting such a wonderful, Pure Mana that no one except for Saber able to resist.

  
“I hate to break it up... but we need to go to the Church to Register Browni-AHEM Emiya-kun.” Rin called out.

  
Both Shirou and Archer glanced at each other, then looked back to Rin and nodded.

  
++♦♦++

  
It’s a long trek to the church since the Brownie lives on the other side of the City so it will take a while. He City is Tranquil at night, So it’s how quiet Fuyuki is—it’s useful for the Grail War to have as little civilian casualties, unless some idiots decided to come out and have a walk at night. The buildings are interesting—most of them look the same, but there’re little details here and there to show whose house is whose. 

  
Shirou still couldn’t help but twitch and it’s getting on Archer’s Nerves.

  
“Would you stop twitching?” The White Haired Servant grounded out.

  
“Well sorry if it annoys you, I just can’t help it!” Shirou shot back.

  
“What’s got you in a tizzy!?” Archer yelled back.

  
“That guy in blue... I still can’t get over why he flirted with you... it’s weird...” Shirou shuddered.

 **  
** “Well... Archer is good-looking so why not...” Rin called out from the back.

  
Archer and Shirou both whirled back and looked at the Dark haired girl in confusion... and embarrassment.

  
“Rin... are you into **_‘THAT’_**?” Shirou asked horrified.

  
The said girl blushed and coughed on her fist to cover her blush.

  
“No! Why would I be into **_‘THAT’_**!” She cried out.

  
But the duo already knew she is into **_‘THAT’_**... Soon they reached the steep hill to where the church would be. Shirou got even more Skittish as he felt someone is watching him, he huddled close to Archer whose finger twitched to call up his Blades Kanshou and Bakuya to protect Shirou despite the bugger annoys him.  


++♦♦++

  
After registering the Final Master, Shirou, Rin, Saber and Archer walks back to Emiya Household only another Master Popping out.

  
“Good evening...” A young feminine voice called out from behind.

  
It’s another girl, though this one’s a child with hair as white as cream and eyes as bright as blood.

  
“Hello Onii-chan... My Name is Illyasviel von Einzbern, but you can call me Illya and I’m here to kill you...” The Little girl called out happily.

  
Okay... this is getting dangerous... Archer called out Kanshou and Bakuya and Saber got her sword.

  
“Are we done talking? So It’s time to kill you...” Illya called out.

  
However, her Berserker had other things in mind or whatever sanity left in his mind that is... the hulking Giant charged towards the Brownie who had a look akin to a Deer Caught In a Headlights. Archer cursed and Grabbed his Master and tossed him aside only for the Berserker to Catch the Brownie (Shirou) who went as limp as a ragdoll in his gigantic hand.

  
“Berserker! What are you doing!? Kill him already!” Illya cried out.

  
But the said Servant wasn’t listening and was staring at Shirou with his Bi-chromatic Eyes. Shirou squeaked at the scrutiny he wanted to cower but there’s nowhere to hide let alone run because he’s in the clutches of the Giant Berserker.

  
“Archer? Help?” Shirou squeaked out.

  
Shirou turned to the White Haired Servant, but he wasn’t there.

  
_‘Where did that Bastard run off to when he is needed?’_ Shirou cried out in his thought.

  
Somewhere in the distant Hill Archer prepared his Arrow as he is about to use one of his Swords, he had chosen Caladbolg II, though as he was about to call out his Aria...

  
“Helloo~! There~!” A Certain Blue Dog Called out.

  
Lancer that Bastard!

  
“Go Away Mutt, I’m Busy!” Archer snapped as he tries to fend off a Frisky Dog.

  
Archer tried to aim at Berserker but the Mutt is very persistent on playing with him!

  
“Lancer! Get Off! I’m Busy!” The White Haired Servant Cried out as he tries to fend off those Roaming Hands.

  
“Aw! After all the trouble I’ve gone through to get here?” Lancer Pouted.

  
“Quiet Mutt! Go Away! I have an Idiot to save!” Archer shot back as he took aim again.

  
Archer returned to his Position and called out his Aria

  
“I Am The Bone Of M- _GYAAAA!!!!!_ ” Archer Screamed as Lancer out of nowhere just fondled his Behind.

  
He accidentally released his Arrow to a Misfire and it’s heading to- The Church’s Garden and it’s unwittingly heading towards someone Blond... Archer paled at that.

  
**[CHURCH]**

 **  
** Gilgamesh is minding his own business, such as drinking wine and his mind is wandering over that Heavenly Scent of Prana, He is sure it didn’t came from Saber. But to Both Archer and that Auburn Haired Mongrel. How did those two have such Heavenly Prana? Oh How he wanted to taste it...

  
The Golden King sipped from his Wine Glass when all of a sudden, a Bolt came crashing to the Garden where he’s at and caused a Mess and not only that... Ruined his night...

  
**_“MONGREEEEEELLLLL!!!!”_** Gilgamesh roared.

  
He is so going to make someone pay dearly for attacking him! Him of all people! Nobody attacks a King!

  
**[BACK TO ARCHER]**

 **  
** Archer covered his face in shame and embarrassment, not only for misfiring his arrow but because he let Lancer get away after fondling his Arse... he is so going to hurt that Blue Mutt, He’s going to kick Lancer’s Behind if it’s the last thing he do...

  
He swear!

  
**[GREATER GRAIL]**

 **  
** Angra Mainyu couldn’t believe what he was seeing, is his Vassal being wooed at by Berserker of all Servant? Does Shirou even know he’s being wooed at? That boy is too dense to even know, And that Archer... wait... Archer is Shirou’s Future Self, so...

  
What is he even watching!? Great! Archer’s Younger Self is being wooed by Berserker and there is Archer, being harassed by the Blue Mutt and misfired an Arrow. If he Angra Mainyu has to guess, that Arrow is heading to... The King of Jerks Gilgamesh...

  
Gods! Cupid had his job cut out of him because there’s going to be chaos soon once the War starts. Oh how he’s going to enjoy this....

  
**[BACK TO SHIROU]**

 **  
** Berserker had finally relented and let go of the terrified boy. Shirou hid behind Rin after all the things he had gone though. Is this how the Holy Grail War should go?

  
“Berserker! What’s gotten onto you! I told you to kill onii-chan! But you didn’t!” Illya said petulantly.

  
The Giant Servant pointed at Shirou and rumbled out.

  
“Wife...”

  
Shirou wanted to faint right then and there, did Berserker called him **_Wife_**!? Rin jaw dropped, did she heard Berserker right? Did that Servant called Emiya **_Wife_**!? Illya was gapping at her Servant, did Berserker just called her Onii-chan Wife? Saber’s hand met her face.

  
“I wanna go home!!” Shirou sobbed pathetically.

  
Rin just pat the poor guy on the back comfortingly.

  
**[SOMEWHERE]**

 **  
** Kiritsugu’s Papa senses are tingling... something is happening to Shirou...

  
“Dear what’s wrong?” Irisville asked looking at her Husband.

  
“You look like you wanted to run across the World Back Home, Sir...” Diarmuid added.

  
“I just got a feeling that Shirou’s in Distress, and as for running back Home... We’re Going home...” Kiritsugu stated as he prepares his suitcase.

  
Whoever is messing with his son is so going to answer to his Guns... Irisville just watched her husband, Kiritsugu never shows it but he’s actually a softy when it comes to Shirou.

  
**[EMIYA HOUSEHOLD]**

 **  
** Archer returned home looking Harried, and a Mess, Hair sticking out in every Direction possible, and his Clothes Askew and if looks could kill everyone he looks would be history...

  
“Where have you been! Do you know what trouble we have to go through to shake off Berserker off our back!?” Rin Chewed Archer thoroughly.

  
Shirou is curled on the corner sulking, Saber tried to console the dejected boy.

  
“I was about to help when that Mutt in Blue Body Suit get in my way! By Gods! I missed fire an Arrow because of him!” Archer snapped back. “When I get my hands on him, I’m so going to hurt him until he’s black and blue!”

  
“Did you even know that Shirou is being called **_Wife_** by Berserker?” Rin huffed.

  
Archer stared at Shirou horrified, the said boy rocking back and forth now...

  
“Rin, I do Believe this is not how the Holy Grail War Goes or Work for that Matter... What’s going on?” Archer asked voice a little shaken but he straightened it out.

  
“Why would you ask me? I don’t even know what is going on anymore!” Rin said back. “First Lancer... Now Berserker? And Shirou being called Wife?”

  
**_Ring! Ring!.... Ring! Ring!_**

 ** _  
_** Shirou trudged towards the Phone like a zombie would and picked it up...

  
“Moshi Moshi...” He droned out.

  
**KIRITSUGU: Shirou... it’s me...**

 **  
** Archer, Rin and Saber stared at Shirou who looks like he was about to cry...

  
_‘Oh Dear...’_ They thought simultaneously.

  
Shirou’s Lips quivered at hearing his Father’s Voice...

  
**KIRITSUGU: Shirou? Is something wrong?**

 **  
** And all hells broke lose...

  
“Bwaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!” Shirou cried.

  
Archer flopped down on the floor covering his face with his hands trying to suppress his laughter, his shoulder is shaking so hard, Saber was making odd noises, Rin ran to Shirou and took the Phone from his grasp and answered a Frantic Father on the other end of the Phone.

  
**[GREATER GRAIL]**

 **  
** Angra Mainyu was rolling on the Metaphorical Floor laughing, it was hilarious at how Kiritsugu sounded on the Phone when Shirou started Bawling his eyes out, it was too rich... Shirou is technically a Kid, but it’s just funny.

  
The Boy was the first one to be claimed as a Wife. Archer is Lucky, but his Luck soon will run out. Boy... Kiritsugu is going to be in for Trouble too... All thanks to the Black Mud that Man is going to Suffer along with his Sons...

  
Angra Mainyu can’t wait for the Brides to run away from their Grooms... How will this war turn out?

  
**[BACK TO KIRITSUGU]**

 **  
** His Heart Jumped to his throat when he heard his Son Bawled on the Phone, he asked the boy if he’s alright, if someone’s messing with him and such. If someone has the courage to tell that Kiritsugu Emiya might have just made all Mother Hens a Run for their Money, as he was asking his son questions that any mother hens would do, but he was overdoing it.

  
Until a Girl answered the phone for Shirou and explaining everything. Oh How Furious Kiritsugu looked, his hands are shaking from anger. He bid the girl from the phone goodbye and dropped the phone he’s using.

  
“Kerry Dear, what’s wrong?” Iris asked curiously.

  
Kiritsugu pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to breathe.

  
“Shirou got involved in the Grail War... and Summoned an Archer...” He answered.

  
“Was that so bad? Shirou is a grown boy now he can participate in the war...” Iris stated softly trying to comfort her Husband.

  
“Shirou’s being wooed by Berserker if I may add, Our Daughter’s Berserker...” Kiritsugu huffed out.

  
Diarmuid choked on his tea, He had seen the Adorable boy once and he had grown fond of Shirou he was like a baby brother to him and now... Someone’s wooing his Adorable Little Brother? Over His Dead Body!

  
“Then... Should we make haste then, Sire?” Diarmuid asked his face looks very pleasant but the aura around him said otherwise.

  
Kiritsugu nodded as he steps towards the door lugging his baggage with him, There is no way in hell he’ll hand his Son Over to any Suitors. None of them are good enough for his Son... if His Daughter’s Berserker is After Shirou, then there is a possibility that the other Servants is After his Precious Son... Oh how his Guns are going to have a Field Day Once He gets Back Home.

  
**[BACK IN FUYUKI]**

 **  
** Some Servants felt chills runs down their spine, the war is starting soon. However there is something in the air... tempting and heavenly Pure. They are going to hunt its source down.

  
**[EMIYA HOUSEHOLD]**

 **  
** It took an hour to calm the dejected Master down. Rin felt extremely sorry for Shirou, if Berserker is attracted to Shirou, there is also a possibility that Archer is going to suffer the same fate judging by how Lancer had acted around him. and what’s worse, if Judging by what Berserker had called Shirou... Other Servants are going to have similar reaction as Berserker to the (Un)fortunate Master and Servant of this House... they’re going after and

  
_‘To get dat ass...’_ Rin thought to herself.

  
Her imagination went wild as she imagined Shirou and Archer in a Rated R scenery, she failed to notice blood flowing from her nose...

  
“Rin! Your nose is bleeding! Are you alright?” Saber asked worriedly.

  
“Ah! I’m fine! I’m fine!” Rin snapped back as she was brought out of her Yaoi Fantasy Land.

  
Archer gave her a weird look, but kept quiet anyways.

  
“I don’t want to know what you got in your mind Rin... just stop thinking something perverted.” He said.

  
“I’m not thinking anything Perverted!” Rin cried out her cheeks tainted red.

  
“Whatever you say.” Archer stated as he went to check his younger self.

  
He did took the news well... but Shirou... he swore the boy’s heart is about to explode if he didn’t knocked the idiot out. He remembered what Rin said

  
**_“I don’t really like to assume but... Saber did told me that she could sense and smell a very Pure Prana in Yours and Shirou’s being, lucky for you Saber can control herself, I don’t know about the other Servants though, Shirou is already claimed a Wife. I don’t know about you... but... sooner or later... other Masters and Servants are not only going to fight for the Grail... but for yours and Shirou’s hands for ‘Marriage’ too...”_** Rin said with a weird smile on her face.

  
The Word **_‘Marriage’_** had thrown Shirou off and he Panicked, as fun as it is to watch his younger self panic and struggle, he’s on the same boat as the idiot too. He had to Survive this War since he can’t kill his Younger Self, there’s something preventing him from doing so. Well... at least he’s going down with the idiot if anything goes wrong.

  
**[MAGE ASSOCIATION]**

  
Waver Velvet stared at his Servant Iskandar then to his superiors.

  
“What?” He asked the Vice director of the Clock Tower.

  
“According to one of our spies, they sensed abnormalities in Fuyuki City...” Lorelie stated as she glared at Lord El-melloi II. “You’re familiar with the Place, deeper to the information I received, there is a strange Source Of Mana Flowing in some part of the City, one place is where that strange Mana is the strongest, according to the source of information it came from the Emiya Household.”

  
“W-wait... Emiya?” Waver asked staring dumbstruck at the lady.

  
“Yes... Emiya, may I ask... is the Magus Killer had a Son?” Lorelei asked.

  
Waver blinked and answered.

  
“No... as far as I know the Magus Killer had a Daughter not a son.”

  
“Adopted maybe, but... the main point here is that Abnormal Mana, if the enemy of the Organization find this out, they’ll come to Fuyuki City and try to take the Source... Pure Mana is not something you’ll take lightly, it’s stronger than Normal, how the Boy acquired it is unknown.” Lorelei stated as she looked out the Window.

  
“What do you want me to do? The Grail War has already Begun, Milady.” Waver stated as he looks at the brunette woman.

  
“Watch Over the Boy, if things goes for the worse Bring the Boy here for his Protection.” Lorelei answered.

  
“And what of the Magus Killer.” Iskandar said.

  
“Bring him here, knock him out if you must. We can’t let the enemy Group have the Emiya Family in their clutches.” Lorelei answered. “Go...”

  
Waver and Iskandar left... Waver really doesn’t want to face the Magus Killer, but he have no choice... this war is turning for the worse.

  
**[FUYUKI CITY, HOMURAHARA HIGH SCHOOL]**

 **  
** Shirou is paranoid... he’s being watched, Archer had long ago fled since Lancer had came in the Rooftop and start getting handsy to the Red Bowman. And now... Shirou is in for another round of **_‘RUN AWAY!’_** game as a woman who might he say came out from a Bondage Sex Style... wait... this Woman might be into Bondage... and Bondage is often Painful and He Shirou Emiya really don’t want to have the First Experience on that part, so he did what he do best when in a very desperate situation...

  
**_RUN BITCH! RUN!_**

 ** _  
_** He fled... though he didn’t get that far...

  
_Clink!_

 _  
_ “AGH!” He squeaked as chains wrapped around his legs.

_  
Thud!_

_  
_ “Going somewhere Honey?” Rider purred as she crawled on top of the Frightened Brownie.

  
Shirou tried to wiggle his way out of this situation... but the Bondage Woman is on him, and her breast... Oh God! She’s too close! Too Close!

  
“My... aren’t you a cutie up close.” Rider Purred as she tipped the boy’s chin up.

  
Shirou mentally Whimpered...

  
**_“ARCHER! WHERE ARE YOU!?”_** He cried mentally.

  
**+”I’m fending off a Frisky Mutt...”+** Archer answered.

  
**_“Rider is on me! Oh God! She’s too close! Wai- she’s touching my-HEEEELLLPP!”_** Shirou cried in the link.

  
**[SOMEWHERE WITH ARCHER]**

 **  
** Archer cursed, The Idiot had a rotten Luck... he kicked the mutt off of him and made a mad dash to the School, he had to get there before the idiot loses his Chastity to Rider... He hoped Rin is having a Time of her life and help the idiot.

  
**[TO RIN]**

 **  
** She is not having a time of her Life! Rider almost got too close to Shirou... the said boy is crawling away from the fight between Rider and Saber.

  
“You dare came to stand between me and my Man!” Rider hissed.

  
“I won’t allow you to soil Shirou’s virtue!” Saber shot back.

  
And the Super powered Cat Fight are on...

  
**[EMIYA HOUSEHOLD]**

 **  
** A Black Car stopped in front of Emiya Household Gate, Kiritsugu Emiya has arrived.

  
“Diarmuid... go and Find Shirou, Bring Him Home Safely... if anyone gets in your way, show no mercy...” Kiritsugu stated coldly.

  
“At Once...” Diarmuid answered lowering his head.

  
And with that Diarmuid Ua Duibhne rushed to Shirou’s school, the retrieval of young master Shirou is his top priority, whoever get in his way will answer to his spears.

  
_TO BE CONTINUED_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIST! POST SOME OF YOUR IDEA!


	6. HAVE NO FEAR PAPA KERRY IS HERE! [OR NOT]

**(SORRY KERRY YOU’RE ON THE BRIDES LIST)**

**  
[EMIYA HOUSEHOLD]**

**  
** Maiya, Taiga and Iris were staring at Kiritsugu as he paces back and forth at the corner of the room.

  
“Dear, you should calm down...” Iris called out soothingly.

  
“I. AM. CALM.” Kiritsugu said through his gritted teeth.

  
“I don’t think you are...” Maiya added. “Calm down, Diarmuid is on his way to fetch your Precious Baby.”

  
Kiritsugu tried to ease his nerves, now that he’s back here in Fuyuki. He had lots of things in his mind, Find Illya and bring get her home, Protect his Family especially his Son for some reason being chased by other Servants of the Holy Grail War, Kick Kotomine’s Ass, find a way to Dismantle the Grail and put an end to this war... the question is... How is he going to accomplish this...?

  
**(AUTHOR:** Yeah, How... How are you going to accomplish that without someone trying to get in your Pants? **)**

 **  
** For some reason Kirirtsugu is annoyed that voice in his head is messing with him.

  
**[OLYMPUS]**

 **  
** Anteros couldn’t find his Brother anywhere so he came to the councils of the Gods...

  
“Has anyone seen my brother I can’t find him anywhere...” He asked.

  
Every Gods and Goddesses looked at each other and shrugged.

  
“Maybe he went on vacation in Hawaii?” Hermes questioned.

  
Anteros pinched the bridge of his nose and spat out

  
“What is going to do there? Dress in Palm Leaves and do the Hula?”

  
“That would be a funny sight to see...” Dionysius called out after drinking his wine.

  
Anteros shot the God of Vine a glare he is not amused.

  
“Maybe he needs some time alone and went somewhere else...” Hera provided.

  
Anteros hoped so... he got a bad feelings about Eros disappearing.

  
**[SOMEWHERE WITH ZELRECHT]**

 **  
** The Poor God of Love is in tears, he was just doing his usual Job as the God of Love when someone jumped him and catch him... **_HIM_** of all Gods, he gave up struggling and just stared at the scene before him as chaos is about to unfold in Fuyuki City. He wanted to say something but he’s bound and gagged by this Human Wizard. He gave the Old Man a Glare

  
“Now don’t look at me like that, I’m just trying to help...” Zelrecht chimed.

  
Eros is not amused... Where was that Brother of his when he needs him...

  
“Ah! The Show is about to begin! Who’s going after who? And who’s going to win the hands of the Holy Brides... and Kiritsugu...” Zelrecht chuckled ignoring the whimpering God of Love...

  
He hoped Anteros would find him soon...

  
**[BACK IN FUYUKI CITY]**

 **  
** Archer is not amused... he’s not happy at all, he’s been groped, fondled and harassed by Lancer and now he’s running for his Chastity along with Shirou, he did tried to fight but it seems he’s outnumbered and Shirou is a Mess to fight. He couldn’t go to the Church, there is no way in hell he’ll leave Shirou there.

  
“Archer! They’re coming! Fast!” The Brownie cried out.

  
The boy was shaking hard this time... oh the Down side of being a Virgin...

  
“Where the heck is Saber!?” Archer cried out as he repositioned Shirou on his back and called out his Bow.

  
“Archer! It’s broad daylight!” Shirou cried out as he clung to Archer’s broad shoulders.

  
“What else do you want me to do!? We can’t outrun them forever! It’s either this or our Chastity is doomed!” Archer shot back.

  
Shirou whimpered as he clung to his Servant tighter. Archer prepared his Arrow Durandal and fired, Rider dodged the oncoming attack though Lancer is not quite Lucky and got blown away... far, far away.

  
“Tch...” Archer cluck and had to get away.

  
Well... at least Lancer is out of the way and he’ll leave Rider to Saber... the said Saber came down from above and resumed her Cat Fight with Rider. Archer and Shirou sighed in relief, but that relief flew out of the Window when a Hulking Giant hand coming after them...

  
“GYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!” Both Archer and Shirou hugged each other in Mid-flight as the Gigantic hands is about to catch them.

  
When a Blur of Dark Teal, Yellow and Red came crashing on the Giant Hands.

  
**[TO DIARMUID]**

 **  
** It was chaos in broad daylight, he already faced those Skull Masked Monstrosities on his way to Homurahara High School, but he could no longer sense the Young Master there, but there’s a trace of mana heading towards the City. It’s difficult to find Shirou’s trace since there are 5 other mana traces mixing with his.

  
He was about to go on a search when an explosion caught his attention. He hurried there, if Young Master Shirou get caught in that explosion, Kiritsugu will have his head. He was about to jump to another roof when a Purple Haired Woman and Saber almost crash landed on him, good thing he managed to dodge just in time. Though it seems the Ladies are busy with their Cat Fight

  
“GYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

  
A Familiar and not Familiar cries echoed somewhere, Diarmuid put his Pedals to the Metals and threw all cautions in the wind as he threw himself bodily to where that Familiar cries were. He crash landed to the Giant’s hands pushing it away from his Young Master.

  
**[BACK TO SHIROU AND ARCHER]**

 **  
** Archer settled his frozen younger self, this day is getting weirder and weirder... this is not how the Holy Grail works. Why are the other Servants desperate to get in their pants? Yeah he get that he and Shirou got Pure Manas in their bodies, but this is getting ridiculous. Their hiding place didn’t stay long as Skull Masked shadows came with intent on capturing them.

  
“Fuck!” Archer cursed as he called forth Kanshou and Bakuya. “LEAVE US ALONE!”

  
But his cries got an opposite answer as those Skull Masked monstrosities lunged forward. He dodged those Grabby hands and cut down his enemies, defending his still frozen stiff younger self.

  
**[INSIDE THE GREATER GRAIL]**

 **  
** Angra Mainyu just stared at his vassal, the boy went into shut down. He may enjoy the suffering but he had to draw the line, it’s too early for the War to be over. He had to drag the war longer, he had to wait... he needs time.

  
If saving this boy is his only way to Survive, then he had to do something. He can’t allow anyone to take the boy away, Shirou Emiya is... is his... The Boy is his only... Friend...

  
So he reached out and send out some of his Shades.

  
**[BACK TO ARCHER]**

 **  
** There are countless of these Skull-masked Monstrosities, he’s forced to use his Unlimited Blade Works to deal with these Monsters.

  
“Damn it all!” Archer cursed as he went wild with these Creatures.

  
He threw Bakuya at any incoming monsters and swings Kanshou to those who are closer, Shirou seems to haven’t snapped out of it.

  
“Damn it! Shirou wake up!” Archer called out as he was going to be overwhelmed.

  
Some of the Skull-masked Creatures ran past Archer and pounced to the unconscious Brownie.

  
“NO!” Archer cried out as he tries to run back to his younger self.

  
To his Surprise something came out of Shirou’s Shadow and attacked the Skull-masked freaks.

  
**[ON THE ROAD]**

 **  
** Kiritsugu is hitting the Gas as he drives his car... well... he’s not usually a reckless driver, but his Son’s Chastity is on the line so

  
“Kerry Dear... please slow down....” Iris said as she hangs on for dear life.

  
Diarmuid is taking too long and Kiritsugu got impatient and jumped on the car and putting any Formula 1 Racers to Shame as he drives like a madman. He stepped on the breaks and turned the steering wheel to enter the corner smoothly. Iris’ heart almost jumped at her throat as the car almost hit the rail and made its merry way back on the road.

  
The Emiya Patriarch’s Papa Senses are tingling.

  
**[AIRPORT]**

 **  
** Waver Velvet steps out of the Airport along with his partner, it’s a bit nostalgic returning here in Fuyuki. But there is this uncomfortable feeling worming its way in his being. Iskandar stood beside him looking around, he could sense other servants but... there’s something weird about them... he could feel the chaotic traces of Mana around.

  
“It looks like a battle had gone off here, the place is filled with mana and there’s a strange mana clinging in the air too... it’s not potent but it’s there.” Iskandar stated as he tries to pinpoint the directions of the mana.

  
“How does it feel?” Waver asked.

  
Iskandar grinned toothily as he feels that Pleasant Mana.

  
“It feels really pleasant.” The Big Man answered.

  
“We’ll investigate later, right now we must find a Hotel to rest.” Waver stated as he calls up a Taxi.

  
How is he going to talk to the ‘Magus Killer’ about his mission. Even though that he’s grown up, he’s still terrified of the ‘Magus Killer’. He really doesn’t want to face the other end of the ‘Magus Killer’s’ guns.

  
**[BACK TO SHIROU]**

 **  
** Our Little Brownie had finally decided to wake up, as he opens his eyes he came face to face with... umm... Wolf like shadowy creature?

  
“KYAAAAA!!!” Shirou screamed.

  
The Shadowy creature cringed and backed away...

  
“You don’t have to scream!” The Shadowy creature cried out.

  
Shirou blinked... wait... this feelings of sadness and loneliness.

  
“Anri? Is that you Anri?” He whispered.

  
“Ah! So you recognized me!” The said creature huffed. “I thought you have forgotten.”

  
“Why would I?! I Promised to be your friend right?” Shirou huffed puffing his cheeks.

  
The Shade was about to say something when a bullet passed through its skull, bullets has no effect on Shades,

  
“Get away from my boy...” Kiritsugu growled through his gritted teeth.

  
The Shade just grumbled and moved away from Shirou, the Brownie panicked and looked at his Papa.

  
“Dad! It’s not what it looks like!” He cried.

  
“Don’t worry son, I’m here...” Kiritsugu said not clearly listening.

  
Shirou was about to pull his hair off his scalp, why is it no one listens to what he says!? Then he saw Kiritsugu looked up

  
“Illya! You come down here right now!”

  
“No!” was an immediate answer from the little girl at the rooftop.

  
Kiritsugu put his hands on his hips and called out

  
“Young Lady, you come down here right this instant or else!”

  
“Dear you should listen to your father...” Iris called out.

  
There was silence in the alley except for Archer dealing with the ever persistent Skull-masked pests. Berserker put his Mistress down right in front of Kiritsugu.

  
“Young Lady I disapprove of this actions towards your big brother! You almost endangered him.” the man scolded.

  
“I’m sorry papa...” Illya said quietly.

  
“And what’s worst, you’re fighting the war in broad daylights where everyone in the city could see.” Kiritsugu added.

  
Illya was in tears, she knew she’s wrong, but

  
“Kerry dear, Illya had learned her lesson so there’s no need to scold her further.” Iris said comforting her crying daughter.

  
Kiritsugu huffed, Diarmuid entered the alley all bruised and haggard, everyone stared at the Beautiful Irish Lancer

  
“Those Ladies sure plays rough...” He said mildly smiling rather awkwardly.

  
Before anyone could utter a word...

  
“Can anyone of you help me here!?” Archer called out as he is outnumbered.

  
“Ah! My Apologies!” Diarmuid answered and helped out the Archer.

  
The Shade huffed out, “Well, Since the war has begun... I should congratulate you, Kiritsugu Emiya, because you are involved now...”

  
“I know that.” The Dark haired man snapped.

  
The Shade just cackled and spread out its arms.

  
“Rejoice! For you are now the Third Bride of the War along with your Son! Hahahahahahahahah!” With that the Shade disappeared from the shadows.

  
After that declaration, everyone froze and Archer ran to a wall knocking himself out.

  
Silence...

  
What The Fuck Moment...

  
Realization hits...

  
And Panic follows...

  
“WAIT! WHAT!?” Was all Kiritsugu could say.

  
For some reason Iris is very excited for Kiritsugu’s taste...

  
“What’s going on!?” Kiritsugu asked again. “What does that creature means Me being a Bride?”

  
Shirou put his hand on his Father’s Shoulder and said gravely

  
“Sorry Dad... He Means, We’re **_SO_** Screwed... That’s why Archer and I are running for our Dear Chastity...”

  
The only thing Kiritsugu did best at this moment is facepalm

  
“Oh My God!”

  
_THUD_!

  
And he fainted...

  
“WAAHH! DAD!” - Shirou

  
“Kerry!?” - Iris

  
“PAPA!” - Illya

  
“MASTER!” - Diarmuid

  
“...” - Archer

  
**_“RAWR!”_** \- Berserker

  
**[ROOFTOP]**

 **  
** Rin could only stare at what had just unfold right below her and Saber could only facepalm... both could not believe what they are seeing, funny as it is. The War had just got weirder... the Emiya Trio are now up for grabs.

  
“Saber... let’s just go...” Rin said as she walks away.

  
She’ll drown her sorrows with her tea...

  
**[BACK AT THE CHURCH]**

 **  
** Lancer return with a weird look on his face...

  
“What’s with that look, mutt?” Gilgamesh shots at the blue Spearman.

  
“I’m starting to wonder... What the hell is going on? Are we even fighting a War or just trying to get on the Emiyas Pants?” Lancer asked.

  
Gilgamesh and Kotomine just stared at the Blue Spearman like he had just grown a head.

  
“Care to rephrase that, Lancer...” Kotomine said flatly.

  
“What I mean to say is... Well... I was spying on the Gathering in the Alley in the City, when this Shadowy Creature declared Kiritsugu Emiya and His Sons... Wait... Archer is an Emiya too and that Auburn Beauty are Brides?” Lancer babbled.

  
“The Mongrels are the Brides? Brides for what?” Gilgamesh asked.

  
“How the hell should I know... that’s what I heard?” Lancer said.

  
Kotomine just grinned in amusement

  
“Oh Kiritsugu... what did you get yourself into this time...”

  
He is so going to enjoy watching his Rival running for dear life in this War...

_  
TO BE CONTINUED_


	7. RELEASE THE GROOMS!

**[EMIYA RESIDENCE]**

**  
** Kiritsugu is Pacing, Archer is trying to stay Calm as he drinks tea and Shirou is... well... making a good impression of a kicked Puppy. And everyone doesn’t know what to do, what did that Shadowy creature just said, oh... wait... Kiritsugu, Archer and Shirou are the Brides.

  
“So... Kiritsugu, Archer and Shirou are the Brides for this War?” Maiya asked raising a brow in humour, it’s not every day that she’ll see Kiritsugu this restless.

  
“Un! Berserker seems to like Nii-chan alot!” Illya chirped. “And that Rider seems to like nii-chan too. Though Lancer is after Archer, I wonder why?”

  
“Now that you mention it, Archer seem to have the same features as Shirou...”  Iris began.

  
Archer began to sweat a lot, they’re going to figure it out! They’re gonna figure it out that He is Shirou Emiya of the Future!

  
“By any chance... Archer-chan is Shirou-chan’s Previous father who died?” Iris asked tilting her head to the side.

  
Shiruo’s mouth closed and open but no words would come out, Archer made a good impression of Tea Fountain and choked on the same tea. Kiritsugu just stared, he looked at Archer pensively as the said Servant is trying to regain his composure.

  
“He’s too young to be Shirou’s Father.” Kiritsugu countered.

  
“A Big Brother?” Iris asked again blinking.

  
“But-” Shirou began only for Archer to shut him up with a glare.

  
Shirou shuts his Mouth...

  
“What are we going to do about this War?” Archer conceded.

  
“But I can’t get married yet! I’m still a High School Student! I don’t wanna get married!” Shirou bawled in his Papa’s Shoulder.

  
“Shirou is right, He can’t get married! He’s still young and had a lot of things ahead of him.” Kiritsugu said hugging Shirou close protectively.

  
“Then what are you planning to do, Sir?” Diarmuid asked curiously.

  
“I’m taking Shirou to London that’s what.” Kiritsugu answered out of Character.

  
“Dad... The Grail and Bride’s War has started already... We can’t run...” Illya stated with a weird look in her face.

  
“Wait... What did you say?” Shirou asked looking at Illya in horror.

  
“Grail and Bride’s War?” Illya repeated looking at Shirou adorably.

  
“Great! The Emiya Descendant is going to be the Brides of this War... If we live that is...” Archer deadpanned.

  
“Don’t say such a morbid thing!” Shirou cried out at his ‘Brother’.

  
“I’m just pointing things out.” Archer shot back.

  
“So you’re just going to accept your Fate as the Bride of this War?” Shirou argued.

  
“Hell no! No way!” Archer snapped back.

  
“Then what are we going to do? We can’t fight them all, What if there are other Servants out there?” Shirou asked worriedly.

  
“Don’t Jinx it...” Archer gritted his teeth pinching Shirou’s cheeks. “I can’t Protect you forever you idiot!”

  
“I’m sowwy!” Shirou cried out as Archer is pinching his cheeks.

  
**[SOMEWHERE IN TRIFAS]**

 **  
** Semiramis raised a brow when she saw the letter from Kirei Kotomine. She walked over to her Master and hand it over, Shirou Kotomine took it and reads the Letter. Not long after he reads the Letter he picked up a Picture of a Red Haired boy with Golden Brown eyes, he couldn’t help but feel his jaw slack, the boy almost looks just like him.

  
“A Relative of yours?” Semiramis asked raising a Brow.

  
Shirou Kotomine shook his head and said

  
“No... but indeed the boy had almost the same looks as me.”

  
“And it says here in the letter, The Boy, along with his Servant and Kiritsugu Emiya are the Brides of the Holy Grail War in Fuyuki.” Semiramis said almost laughing.

  
The White Haired Priest grabbed the Letter and rereads it, he thought his adoptive brother is just messing with him.

  
“How could this be!? Brides of the Holy Grail War?” Shirou Kotomine grumbled.

  
“Well... the Boys are cute enough...” Semiramis chuckled.

  
Shirou Kotomine groaned facepalming, what is his Brother Thinking!? A Possible Master and a By Stander and A Servant, Brides for the War. His Brother has gone Bonkers!

  
“What are you going to do, lately the Grail has been odd.” Semiramis stated as she looks at her Master.

  
“Something must be wrong with the Greater Grail and we must find out what it is.” Shirou K. Answered as he walks past his Servant. “I’ll pack up and fly to Fuyuki, tell the Masters and Servants of Red to Come with me to Fuyuki.”

  
“As you wish...” Semiramis answered bowing down.

  
**[YGGDMILLENIA CASTLE]**

 **  
** “What did you say? The Masters and Servants of Red are going to Fuyuki? For what reason?” Celenike asked glaring at Astolfo.

  
“I’m sorry Mistress, but all I heard is that there’s not only a Grail War in Fuyuki but also there are Brides to be taken too, if the Grail has something to do about this Brides then...” Astolfo answered bowing down.

  
Fiore, Caules, Gordes, and Roche looked at each other...

  
“The Masters of Red might be wanting to participate on this war and take the Brides for themselves. Who are these Brides...?” Gordes asked.

  
“I think... the Emiyas... that’s what I caught Assassin of Red is talking about.” Astolfo answered sporting a weird look on his face.

  
That caught the Five Masters’ Attention.

  
“Emiya? As in the Magus Killer? A Bride?” Gordes frowned. “Who would’ve thought someone as fearsome as the Magus Killer would go Down to such a thing as a Bride?”

  
“The Grail might have something to do with it, should we go and fly to Fuyuki and Grab a Bride ourselves?” Celenike asked as sadistic grin crosses her face.

  
And so, the Yggdmillenia packed up and catch a flight to Fuyuki, following the Rival Team.

  
**[CLOCK TOWER]**

 **  
** Zelretch appeared before the Vice Director of the Clock Tower.

  
“The Masters of Red and Black had made their move, and they’re heading to Fuyuki City. What are you going to do now, Vice Director.” The Old Troll asked in amusement.

  
Lorelei got her work cut out of her, this old troll is messing with her. The Emiya Family are nothing but troubles, Slamming her hand on her desk and called out

  
“Call Lord El-Melloi II to Bring The Emiya Family here! NOW!”

  
Her Secretary flinched and did what she was told.

  
“That Family is nothing but Trouble!” Lorerlei grounded out.

  
Zelretch cackled akin to ‘Brides running away from the Grooms.’, Lorelei just stared at the Troll before her.

  
“You did something didn’t you?” She asked flatly.

  
“No my dear...” The Troll Lied.

  
**[BACK TO FUYUKI CITY]**

 **  
** The Sun is Shining, The Birds are Chirping and-

  
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Archer screaming as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him, he’s out for a Morning Walk when the Blue Mutt decided to come and ruin his day.

  
Lucky Shirou is not with him today to bring him down... But knowing his younger Self-

  
Oh For The Love Of-

  
“DAMN YOU SHIROU!” and he made a U-Turn to get to where his Younger Self would be this morning.

  
“Archer My Love! Wait for me!” Lancer called out as he run after the Red Clad Servant.

  
“GO AWAY!” Archer answered from the distance and left the Blue Spearman in his dust.

  
**[FUYUKI PARK]**

 **  
** “NNNOOOOOO!” Shirou cried as he run across the Park with Rider hot on his Shoe heels.

  
He doesn’t want to get smothered by those pair of Huge Melons (Boobs) again. He knew he should’ve accepted his Father’s Proposal to walk along side Archer, But Nooo~! He had to be stupid and walk on his own and now here he is, running for dear life as Rider is coming to get him.

  
_CHINK!_

 _  
_ “Bwa!” _THUD!_

 _  
_ Here he goes again, Shirou really wanted to cry. He can’t go to School with Servants trying to get in his pants, He can’t stay cooped up in the house... Hell! He can’t even fight like a Man should! All he could do is run!

  
“Hello there sweet heart.” Rider Purred as she brought up the terrified boy. “Aw, Don’t be scared I won’t hurt you... much...”

  
“U-Ummm... can you, let me go?” Shirou squeaked. “Please?”

  
“No can do my Bride, we must go to our wedding night... if you know what I mean...” Rider purred bringing Shirou’s face close to her as she is about to kiss him.

  
Shirou mentally cried, he’s gonna lose his First Kiss to a woman he barely even knew. He closed his eyes as he prepares for the inevitable

  
“Unhand my Woman (Shirou)...” A Proud voice called out.

  
Rider hissed, why was it every time she wants to be alone with her man, someone has to ruin it! She turned around and glared at the Blonde haired man standing at the top of the Lamp Post.

  
“Back off he’s Mine!” Rider hissed hugged Shirou’s head.

  
Shirou is smothered by those Melons again, he’s having a hard time breathing.

  
“I warn you mongrel, unhand my woman...” The Blonde man growled getting agitated as golden light ripples in the air.

  
Shirou got his face free of the monstrosities and cried out

  
“I’m a Man!”

  
The Golden Haired man just chuckled

  
“Not in our Relationship, My Dear...”

  
And Shirou let it all out

  
“NNOOOOOO!!!!”

  
“Come my Love! To our Love Nest!” Rider cackled.

  
“OH GOD NOOO!!!” Shirou panicked.

  
“Mongrel! Unhand my Bride!” The Golden Man growled as swords starting to pop out from the Ripples of Light.

  
Rider just grinned and called forth her Bellerophon and flied away.

  
“MONGREL!” The Golden Man roared and called forth Vimana and followed the wench who stole his Bride.

  
Just in time Archer arrived watching the Scene unfold.

  
“Shirou!” He cried out he watched helplessly as Rider had taken his Younger Self away.

  
“Archer Dear!” Lancer called out.

  
Archer ran and followed to where Shirou is taken, Ugh! For the Love of God! This War is just becoming Ridiculous.

  
**[TO WAVER VELVET]**

 **  
** Iskandar just followed his partner, the City seems so quiet. It’s already Daytime and People should be bustling by now.

  
“Odd, it’s too quiet.” Waver stated as he looks around.

  
“That’s because there’s no people coming out. We should keep our eyes out for danger.” Iskander stated with a grin.

  
Waver looked to his left scowling, he heard a faint screaming.

  
“Did you hear that?” He asked.

  
And before the Big Man could answer, something passed by

  
“DAAADDD! HEEEEEeeeeelllllppppp!” A Crying boy wrapped in chain dangling from where he’s hanging, Rider’s Flying Horse.

  
Then something zoomed by, following the Female Rider.

  
“I’M COMING SON! I’M COMING!” Kiritsugu cried out as he broke the speed limit with his Bike.

  
Not long after the Magus Killer passed by, a familiar ship followed.

  
“MONGREL! GIVE ME BACK MY BRIDE!” Roared out the Golden king angrily.

  
Iskandar was about to followed but got mowed down by an angry Archer.

  
“Damn it Shirou! I left you for an hour and you got yourself in trouble!” The Silver Haired Archer growled out.

  
The Big Man was about to stand up when another Servant came running forcing the Conqueror back on the ground.

  
“Archer! Wait for me~!” A Love Struck  Blue Spearman running after the irate Archer.

  
This time Iskander stayed down hoping no more Servant will mow him down.

  
“This mission is just getting more ridiculous, how are we going to get those idiots with us when most of the Servants are trying to get in their pants!” Waver groaned.

  
“To make it worst, Masters and Servants from a Different War is coming here fast.” Iskander added.

  
The Conqueror stood up from where he’s laying down, the concrete is getting uncomfortable.

  
“So... when are we moving?” Iskander asked with a toothy grin. “The Brides are running all over the place.”

  
Just as Waver is about to answer, a Giant Berserker came running and accidentally kicked the Conqueror like a football sending the other man away.

  
“Get out of the way! Nii-chan belongs to Berserker!” Illya cried out.

  
Waver just stood there with his jaw slack, a freakin’ Giant Berserker just kicked Iskander like a football, Diarmuid just stood beside him closing the poor man’s jaw.

  
“Ahem, Diarmuid... Kiritsugu is also a Bride and he needs Protection.” Iris called out from behind.

  
The Poor Lancer’s eyes widened as round as a saucer, his mouth opened and close but no words coming out from his mouth. The Dark Haired Lancer turned and ran after the group crying out

  
“Master! Master!”

  
Maiya facepalmed

  
“This is getting ridiculous...” She sighed.

  
“Aren’t you excited? Kerry, Archer and Shirou are going to get married?” Iris squealed in an airheaded way.

  
Waver just stared at the woman... The Magus Killer sure had a weird taste for women. Oh he’ll going to get a stiff drink after this, he’s not paid enough to do this job.

  
_TO BE CONTINUED_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO SHOULD KIRITSUGU BE PAIRED WITH?


	8. RUN! BRIDES! RUN!

**[EMIYA RESIDENT]**

**  
** The Residents of Emiya Household were amused with the Antics, Shirou locked himself in the Bathroom.

  
“He’s in the Bathroom.” Iris giggled.

  
Archer growled at his “Brother’s” stupidity.

  
“Shirou, come out of the Bathroom.” He knocked.

  
“Umm No.” Shirou called out from the bathroom

  
“Young Lady, Come out of that Bathroom right now.” Kiritsugu called out behind Archer.

  
“You can’t see me again.” Shirou cried out.

  
“Come out of that Bathroom this is your Brother speaking and you respect me-”

  
**_SLAM!_**

  
“FINE!”

  
The door slammed on Archer’s face, Archer kicked the door hard that it went off of its hinges

  
“Ow! You hit my face with the Door! Aargh! Oh! Sorry Brother I didn’t mean it!”

  
Archer went running inside the Bathroom and shook Shirou hard.

  
“I didn’t mean it! Oh no! Come Back!”

  
At the Door Maiya and the others were laughing their ass off

  
“That was a really so teenage Acting I‘ve ever seen.” Kiritsugu chuckled shaking his head.

  
**[LATER ON THAT DAY]**

 **  
** Archer had to drag his “Brother” out of the house, to get him to breath fresh air, He leaps from roof top to rooftop, from branches to branches.

 **  
** “Archer… this is a Bad idea, people can’t fly!” Shirou complained as he is clinging to his “Brother” for dear life.

  
“It will be fine!” Archer chuckled.

  
Archer had long ago learned to ‘Never Leave Shirou On His Own Or Else.’ So he had to go and keep Shirou close.

  
“Archer I value my life... and my Chastity, I don’t wanna get mauled yet!” Shirou cried pounding on Archer’s back.

  
“You almost got mauled... Twice, by Rider!” Archer goaded with a grin.

  
“This is Stupid!” Shirou grumbled hiding his face behind Archer’s head.

  
Looks like Archer is up to no good… Again and he was dragging Shirou along with him.

  
“Archer I really don’t want to do this!” Shirou cried. “Do you have any idea how many Servant is after me?”

  
“Yeah, I know” Archer Laughed. “It’s Berserker, Rider and that Mysterious Golden Man.”

  
And the White haired Bride jumped even higher in the air, Shirou was screaming his head off as he went sailing in the air with Archer

  
“Quit Screaming at my ears!” Archer called out.

  
Archer was trying to find a stable perch to balance himself, Shirou is literally choking him and little did he know that a speeding Blue Hound of Ulster is coming on his way. Archer had found a safe spot, though as his feet is about to touch the thick branch

  
_**SLAM!**_

  
“AUGH!” He kissed a tree.

  
“ARCHEEEeeeeerrrrr!” Shirou cried out as he continued sailing past the tree that Archer kissed. “I’LL KILL YOU IF YOU LIVE!”

  
Outside the Mini Forest, Gilgamesh is minding his own business as he walks in the Path way until he heard a scream coming closer in his way, he frowned at that, he had the urge to lift his arms, as he did so, he nearly jumped out of his skin when a certain Auburn haired Minx landed in his Arms. Though his shock turns into playful teasing

  
“Has Heaven sent me an Angel?” He asked grinning at the boy in his arms.

  
“Eh?” Shirou blinked looking up at the man who caught him, it’s the same man he saw back then.

  
“Because I have the most beautiful Angel in My Arms.” The Blond haired man grinned.

  
Shirou blushed at this, he can’t believe what is he hearing. _‘This can’t be happening again!’_

  
“Are you hitting on me?” He asked incredulously.

  
“And what if your King does, hmm?” The Blond man grinned leaning closer to the auburn haired boy.

  
“Can you let me down... Please...” Shirou quailed.

  
The Blond man just smirked and said “The King will not let what belongs to him go.”

  
“H-Hah?” was all Shirou could say.

  
“Now, come we must be off to our Wedding Night.” The Blond Man grinned.

  
Shirou’s face became so red and he stuttered out

  
"But it's broad daylights."

  
"The King does not care..." The Blond Man grinned triumphantly.

  
And Shirou's little heart couldn’t handle it...

  
“NOOOOOO!”

  
He Screamed...

  
**[SOMEWHERE WITH ARCHER]**

 **  
** The Red Bowman is annoyed... no angry... wait mad... scratch that, he’s Livid! He’s very livid. He lost sight of Shirou! And if Shirou is out of his sight, disaster follow and if Disaster happens in broad daylights. He’s fucked. And now, here he is chasing a certain dog trying to kill him

  
“Hey! I just wanna have some fun!” Lancer called out dodging an arrow.

  
“Die!” Archer growled out as he notched another arrow sending it towards Lancer. “You have no idea what you just did!”

  
“What? I didn’t know it’ll happen! I’m sorry!” Lancer argued as he dodged another arrow.

  
“AGH! You ruined everything you mutt! If Shirou is out of my sight, think of the trouble that will happen!!” Archer cursed.

  
The two of them passed by the Church and Archer swore he saw his Father being harassed... no, manhandled... Scratch that, his Father is being cornered by that Damned Priest and Diarmuid is being a wuss trying to keep the creepy priest away from his Master, no matter how hard he tries to be intimidating, the False Priest is in a whole new Level.

  
_“NOOOOOO!”_  
  
That was Shirou’s cry of Distress, everyone already knew the Distress call that the Brownie is doing, not soon after that a blur of Blue and Silver passed by, Rin was running to where Shirou would be.

  
The Chaos in the Church stopped when a Car parked nearby and a Man with Spiky White Hair came, Kotomine just stared at this man and let his prey get away. Diarmuid took the chance and whisk his master away as... wait... More Servants came...

  
“Oh God... Hell No! There are more of them!” Archer cried out.

  
It didn’t help when all Servants turned his way, one almost identical to Saber. They were looking at him weirdly but soon there’s a spark of... interest?

  
“I gotta get out of here...” Archer quailed and ran off.

  
He couldn’t handle them all, he had to find Shirou and his Father, they had to hide!

  
**[BACK AT THE CHURCH]**

 **  
** When Semiramis first got out of the car her senses was met with that Heavenly Feel of Mana, it’s nearby and it’s really enticing. She wasn’t the only one, as her fellow Servants had this euphoric looks on their face, they turned to one Direction and met eye to eye with the Source of that Wonderful Mana, there stood in the distance is a Red Garbed Archer not far behind him is a Blue Lancer.

  
The Red Bowman seemed too scared and ran off... it was disappointing when they scared off a Potential Partner.

  
“Kirei have you gone mad!? A Bride in the Holy Grail War!?” Shirou Kotomine grounded.

  
“Why not? My War is Different from your War and don’t even bother, brother. Your Servants seems to be interested in My War as well.” Kirei grinned as he saw the Red Bowman running away from the site.

  
Shirou Kotomine groaned at this, one of this Days... this War is going to kill him.

  
**[SOMEWHERE WITH SHIROU]**

 **  
** The Brownie is crying... why you asked, well... let’s just say when the Golden Man is about to kiss him, Caster and her Master came and snatched him away and now he’s stuck in a wedding dress, his wrists is bound by something and he couldn’t move.

  
“Now we must began the Ceremony.” Caster purred. “Soon you will be mine, my bride.”

  
“Let me guuuuu!” Shirou struggled from his bounds.

  
The Witch of Betrayal was about to say something when a Giant crashed her wedding. She glared at her unwanted Visitor, but cringed when she saw who it was. It was a very angry Berserker, Shirou quailed at the sight.

  
Another Competitor came and this time, it’s one of the Most Dangerous. Shirou couldn’t handle it anymore... He felt his whole body crashed and his consciousness ebbs away, the last thing he heard is an Angry roar from Berserker and everything is silence.

  
When he came to, he was being carried by Archer and he noticed that Diarmuid was carrying his Father too.

  
“That was a very close one... if Berserker didn’t wreck the Wedding, I don’t know what’s going to happen to you.” Archer called out.

  
“Where are we going?” Shirou asked groggily.

  
“Far away from here! We can’t handle all of them.” Archer answered.

  
“Wait... them?” Shirou asked already awake.

  
“More Servants came, Young Master. And it won’t be good if they all come after you, Archer and Master Kiritsugu, we must go into hiding until things calms down.” Diarmuid answered.

  
“There are more of them!?” Shirou cried out.

  
“Son, you need to stay calm... these new comers are from a Different War and probably came here to check on the Greater Grail, since it’s acting odd lately.” Kiritsugu stated holding on to Diarmuid.

  
“Are they going to Destroy the Grail?” Shirou asked.

  
When all of a Sudden Pain struck his head and the next thing he knew he’s in the sea of Stars.

  
**[GREATER GRAIL]**

 **  
** Angra Mainyu stood before the Boy he had been Watching over for quite so long.

  
“Anri!” Shirou chirped happily and glomped the Spirit of the Grail.

  
Angra Mainyu grunted at the impact, the Boy had grown, but every time he pulls the boy’s consciousness here in the Grail or visiting him in his Dreams. The boy would be reduced into a child like attitude.

  
“Yeah, Yeah, Nice to see you too...” He mumbled he’s trying to get used to Shirou’s attitude.

  
Shirou stood right in front of the Older Male with expectant look on his face.

  
“Shirou, listen... The Grail War had just become more difficult as of late, Masters and Servants from the Different War had come here and soon the Masters of Red and Black Faction are going for an all out war. You can’t run forever, you must fight. The Black Faction the Yggdmillenia will come and try to remove the Greater Grail and take it for their own plans, you must not let that happen.”  Angra Mainyu stated looking firmly at his Vassal.

  
“If the Greater Grail is in Danger, which means, you’re in Danger Too.” Shirou said quietly.

  
“I need more Time and with the Servants are not filling the Greater Grail with Mana, it’s going to take me long to Manifest.” Angra Mainyu stated putting his hands on Shirou’s shoulders. “Shirou as much as I disliked it, but you need Powerful Allies to Overthrow the Yggdmillenia...”

  
“And those who threatened the Greater Grail.” Shirou added. “But what about Archer and Father?”

  
“It doesn’t matter whether they knew of this Plan or not, prevent the Yggdmillenia from taking the Greater Grail. If the Greater Grail falls into their hands.” Angra Mainyu stated gravely.

  
Shirou had this serous look on his face and nodded

  
“I understand... I will do what I can...”

  
And with that, a tugging feeling pulled Shirou back to consciousness.

  
**[CAVERN, BELOW RYUUDOUJI TEMPLE]**

 **  
** Shirou woke up at the Familiar presence of the Greater Grail. He sat up and looked around, not far he saw Archer and his Father helping with the Cooking.

  
“Young Master! Thank Goodness you’re awake, you got us worried when you just stopped responding.” Diarmuid stated as he fussed over the Young Master.

  
Kiritsugu the Mother Hen was immediately by Shirou’s side fussing over his Precious Baby and sighed in relief when he didn’t found any wound. Shirou however took the initiative and said

  
“Father, the Greater Grail is in Danger of being Taken away.”

  
“What? How did you-” Kiritsugu frowned.

  
“Anri Maiyu told me. He said Yggdmillenia Family are planning on taking the Greater Grail for their own Plans. We can’t let that happen!” Shirou said insistently.

  
“Anri Maiyu...” Archer tested out. “Are you Speaking of Angra Mainyu, Shirou?”

  
Kiritsugu cringed at this, his son is in contact with that Demon.

  
“You made contact with the Demon?” He asked.

  
Shirou frown lightly at this and said

  
“Anri is not bad, just Misunderstood. But that’s not what concerns me, The Yggdmillenia is planning on taking away my friend! I won’t let that Happen.”

  
“Okay, Okay, Calm down. How long have you been in contact with Anri?” Kiritsugu asked.

  
Before Shirou could answer, a Familiar Voice answered

  
“I’ve been with the Boy before you even found him, Kiritsugu Emiya.”

  
A Shadowy figure walked out of the mouth of the Grail and floated down besides Shirou, and before anyone could say anything, Shirou lunged at the Shadowy Figure

  
“Anri! Are you lonely?”

  
The Shadowy Figure grunted and just pat the boy on the Back.

  
“I’m fine boy, I couldn’t fully get into my Base Form so this’ll do for a while and we all need to talk...” Angra Mainyu stated.

  
Everyone settled down right in front of the Shadowy Figure.

  
“I made sure no one’s entering this part of the Mountain so there’s no need to worry, now let’s begin. Does anyone of you have a question.”

  
“I do... when did you meet the Squirt there?” Archer asked pointing at Shirou who petulantly stick out his tongue at Archer.

  
“During the Fuyuki Fire, a Fragment of the Grail that Contains a fragment of my Consciousness broke out and embed itself on the Boy. It should’ve corrupted him, but instead he won the Fragment Over thus the boy is as he is today.” Angra Mainyu answered.

  
“Why are you even close to my son? You are supposedly be the “source of all evil in the world”.” Kiritsugu asked looking at Angra Mainyu.

  
“Shirou might be your Son, but he is as what he is to you to me. He is a Son to me as well.” Angra Mainyu stated firmly. “Now shall we go down to business?”

  
_TO BE CONTINUED_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn! Engel is Called back to Work... won't be seeing her for two months again.


	9. LET’S GET SERIOUS! [OR NOT]

Archer, Diarmuid, and Kiritsugu sat in front of Angra Mainyu while Shirou insistently sat beside the Spirit. Angra Mainyu just grunted and said

  
“Let’s get down to business...” **( Tiny Voice:** To Defeat the Huns! **)**

 **  
** Whoever that Tiny Voice was Angra Mainyu ignored it, though there’s a tiny voice in his mind screaming ‘The Huns are long dead, bitch! *Glares at the Author*’. He grunted again and stared back at the trio in front of him

  
“It seems outsiders had imposed on the Grail war, both have interest on the Greater Grail. If the Greater Grail falls on which ever Team’s Hands, it’s over.”

  
“What’s this got to do with us?” Archer asked curiously.

  
“Want to end up marrying a Dictator?” Angra Mainyu huffed.

  
Archer’s face turned a Pale shade of Tan and cried out

  
“HELL NO! I’D RATHER GO BACK TO THE THRONE OF HEROES AND DRAG DAD AND SHIROU WITH ME!”

  
“Don’t Drag Me With You!” Shirou cried out panicking.

  
“If you want to Marry a Dictator then go ahead.” Archer huffed.

  
“D-Dictator? NOOO!” Shirou cried out.

  
Angra Mainyu sighed, these two are always at each other’s Skin. He cleared his throat to get the other two’s attention, both Archer and Shirou are glaring at each other, Shirou stuck out his tongue at Archer Petulantly and the Red Bowman retaliate with his own.

  
“Okay! Okay! Pull your tongue back in your mouth no fighting in the house Children...” Angra Mainyu grumbled.

  
Both Kiritsugu and Diarmuid sighed at both Archer and Shirou’s antics.

  
“What should we do?” Diarmuid asked curiously.

  
“I know you guys don’t like this but you have to find people who can help you prevent the outsiders from taking the Greater Grail.” Angra Mainyu stated seriously.

  
The Emiya Trio paled, if to prevent the Outsiders from taking the Greater Grail, they must-

  
“OH HELL NO!” Kiritsugu cursed.

  
Angra Mainyu cackled at this

  
“It’s time to put your baits in the hook and fish out your Grooms.”

  
This time the Emiya Trio Chorused

  
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

  
Angra Mainyu just sighed and shook his head... Children... They are Children, but it’s for the good that they have to find people who could help them. He don’t know why he’s being protective of this Bunch... especially to Shirou.

  
_‘Is this how a Father trying to protect his daughter feels like?’_ He thought though he shook his head, Shirou is a boy, not a girl... but still...

  
It won’t hurt to look after them...

  
**[TIMESKIP]**

 **  
** The Manager of the Copenhagen just stared at the Emiya Trio, Two are drowning their misery in alcohol while Shirou is drowning his sorrow in Orange Juice since he’s not legal to drink yet.

  
How could this happen? How could the Masters and Servants from a different Grail War entered their very own war? Whoever did it wanted to doom them all! How are they going to get out of this without their Chastity being taken from them?

  
**[BY THE TIME THEY GET HOME]**

 **  
** Kiritsugu is frozen stiff on where he’s standing, Archer is quacking on his steel toed shoes and Shirou is... well... white from fright. Why were they afraid? There in front of them are the Women of Emiya Household, they have these manic look on their face, Rin had this look akin to ‘I’m sorry, you’re on your own pal.’...

  
“Umm...” Kiritsugu began.

  
“No time to waste come!” Iris said in a giddy manner and dragged the trio in each room.

  
But the trio ran off, Irisville snapped her finger and Berserker ran after the Trio

  
**[TIMESKIP]**

 **  
** Iris and the other girls had manage to Corner the Brownie (Shirou) and the Blackie (Kiritsugu) of the Emiya Trio, Archer just went and humour the girls since it’s really futile when they’re very motivated in the Ladies’ Night.

  
“I thought Ladies’ Night are only for Girls…” Archer said quietly.

  
“Well, it has a different meaning here~!” Iris said as she rummage some Ladies Dresses.

  
Archer could hear both Shirou and Kiritsugu wailing on the other room much to your amusement, you couldn’t help the grin grace your lips every time both Shirou and Kiritsugu screams.

  
Soon all the crew was in Shirou's room. People were everywhere. Some guys were putting up a mirror, and some were pushing a rack with lots of dresses. There were girls bringing in heels. In conclusion, it was a mess, but as soon as the chaos started, it was gone. Minutes later, only three individuals dressed in black were standing in Shirou's room.

  
"Iris everything's ready."

  
"You may start." The Hungarian Girl looked at Kiritsugu and made a gesture to show the Magus Killer to sit down in front of the mirror. Kiritsugu awkwardly did so, and soon two girls were at his side. One had a brush in her hand and immediately started brushing Kiritsugu's hair. "Dammit, it's impossible to make his hair lay flat. It's like steel," the browned haired girl commented trying to flatten the spikes.

  
"I got an idea," said the other girl with raven hair. "We should just leave his hair like that."

  
"And what you suggest we do?"

  
"Let's put in some MORE Black hair extensions…I think he'll look cute with those spikes."

  
Kiritsugu watched as both girls started discussing how to prepare him, and soon he was lost in his own thoughts and didn't listen when one of the girls was calling his name.

  
"What?" he asked quietly.

  
"I said 'show me your leg',"

  
The Ravenette looked at her with wide eyes and shook his head. "For what?"

  
"Just show it to me."

  
The Kiritsugu lifted his pants to show her in a slightly girly way. The ravenette gave a chuckle and said, "I meant your bare legs."

  
Kiritsugu suddenly felt all the blood coming to this face and answered in a nervous voice, "Y-you mean you want to see my naked legs?"

  
"Yes, that's right!"

  
"My pants are so tight I can fold them to show you my legs…" he said in an attempt to save himself from showing any skin near Diarmuid, for the raven-haired man was just standing there watching everything they were doing with almost analytical eyes and the grin didn’t help too, so this is how Shirou felt every time he’s in this kind of situation.

  
"Then take them off," the raven girl said smiling. "You have boxers underneath right?"

  
"Um…Well, umm, I…Yes?" the Raven haired magus shifted nervously, grabbing the cushion under his hands and glancing at Diarmuid, who just grinned at him even more.

  
"Fine, take them off then"

  
"Like…Right now in front of everyone?"

  
"Don't be silly Kiritsugu. It's only me and two girls. Archer is in the hall, and besides, you'll have your boxers on, so don't worry."

  
"But-" he replied sending pleading eyes to Shirou

  
"No buts. We have to make this quick. The Party starts today Kiritsugu."

  
Kiritsugu gave Diarmuid a dirty look and awkwardly stood up slowly unzipping his pants and taking them off.

  
"Jeez…could this pants be any tighter?" he said trying to remove the tube pants from his skinny legs and blushing darker as he saw Diarmuid watching him in an almost perverted though only in a teasing way. "Could you please stop watching me?!" the blond shouted and sent the girls a murderous glare as they started chuckling. They instantly shut up.

  
"We are guys Master. What are you so nervous about? It's nothing I haven't seen before…Unless all this time you've been lying to me and you're a girl! LIKE MULAN! And here I thought I’m the Wife!"Diarmuid Teased wiggling his brows.

  
Soon enough the girls started laughing again, and Kiritsugu looked away with a deep blush on his face. "Maybe, I'm nervous because you are a pervert," he said, clenching his teeth and forgetting the fact that he was only in his underwear in front of Diarmuid, who was looking at him.

  
"Says the one who always grope me on the hot springs~!" Diarmuid said in a sing song voice, giving a wide smile.

  
Kiritsugu rolled his eyes and cursed to himself. He was going nuts with Diarmuid being a dick with all this and embarrassing him. He gave a tired sighed as he finally managed to get free from his monster pants.

  
"You look hot like that," Diarmuid pointed out and Kiritsugu grab a brush near him and threw it at him.

  
"YOU LOOK DUMB LIKE THAT WITH A BRUSH ON YOUR FACE!"

  
Diarmuid started laughing, but soon enough stopped. "Shit, that hurt." He touched his forehead that really stung and rubbed it slowly.

  
"GET OUT!" Kiritsugu screamed, pointing at Diarmuid. "NOW!"

  
"Okay…I'm going, I'm going…" Diarmuid said, raising his arms in surrender and exiting the room.

  
The Magus Killer gave a sigh that almost sounded like a growl and turned around facing the girls. "Can we make this quick please?"

  
The girls nodded. "Yes, sure honey" the raven hair said. "Could you please sit down and lift your legs for me a little?" Kiritsugu nodded and did as he was told. He just wanted his pants back and this nightmare to end, but he didn't know it was just about to begin.

  
The girl got on his knees, and soon the brunette girl brought her something. It looked like a match that was boiling something, and Kiritsugu didn’t like the look of it. "W-what is that?"

  
"It's wax, Honey" she said with a bright smile and grabbed some of that wax and put it on Kiritsugu's legs.

  
"And what is that for?" The blond moved his other leg nervously. He felt the hot wax sticking on his skin and wondered how she was going to remove it, for the thing stuck to his skin like glue.

  
The girl remained silent and smiled at him. "Ready?" she said as she put some weird paper over the wax on his leg. Kiritsugu just frowned at her with a terrified look on his face. He didn't know what was happening, but he sure knew it was going to hurt. "Ok, here we go, 1,2,3!" And with that said, she ripped off the paper, and Kiritsugu thought he'd never felt such pain before.

  
He screamed at the top of his lungs, rubbing his leg which had now a red patch of skin and no hair at all. "What the heck is this?!”

  
"It is wax to depilate your legs." As soon as she said those words, Shirou stormed into the room.

  
"What happened?!Is everything ok?!”

  
"Yes, Kiritsugu's just being a girl about pain."

  
"A girl?"Kiritsugu sent her deathly look. "That hurts like hell!" He preferred getting cut by a blade to this.

  
"All girls do this in order to look pretty."

  
"All girls are crazy then…" Kiritsugu snorted touching his leg

  
"Beauty hurts," she said with a smile on her face, taking Kiritsugu's leg again and putting more wax over it.

  
Kiritsugu looked at her terrified. The Magus Killer gulped a little and grabbed the seat with all his force, taking a deep breath as he saw the girl ready to rip off the next strip, and while sitting there Kiritsugu decided he was glad, really glad to have been born a man…

  
-0-

  
Kiritsugu didn't know how much had passed since the torture of depilating had started, but right now he was pretty annoyed, pissed, depressed, etc.. He was tired. They had depilated him almost everywhere, and he thought depilating his legs was torture. He was wrong. When they depilated other parts of his body, some of those parts hurt so much that he couldn't sit properly without hurting. Guess where he was hairless now? Not funny at ALL.

  
And now, here he was sitting still on a chair as the raven-haired girl, whose name was Maiya, and the brunette girl, Michele, started putting make up on his face and getting his hair done. He was desperate and anxious. He felt Michele applying who knows what on his eyes, and every time he opened them the dust fall into his eyes making him cry. "Is it over yet?"

  
"Nope, I still have to put on fake eyelashes"

  
Kiritsugu sighed and cross his arms. He felt someone pulling his hair "Aw…What are you doing?"

  
"Hair extensions!"

  
"Why are you pulling so hard on my hair?"

  
"Well I'm attaching them to your hair so they don't fall out."

  
"I think your hair is done. What do you think Michele?" Maiya asked.

  
"He looks quite pretty with his spiky hair. What about putting him in a tiara?"

  
"That would be perfect." Kiritsugu heard Maiya exiting the room and then Michele started doing something that hurt a bit. "Hey! Ouch! Stop that! It hurts!"

  
"Your eyebrows are too messy so stay still while I depilate them, will you?"

  
"You are removing my eyebrows? Hell no…" He scowled and moved away from her.

  
"No silly. I'm just giving them form."

  
"For what?"

  
"Stop questioning. Stay still, and shut up."

  
Kiritsugu groaned, but did as he was told and remained silent, whining every time he felt Micheleremoving hair. His body felt sore all over, and he had been sitting in the chair for so long that his butt had fallen asleep and was sweating. The fact that they had ironed some of his spikes didn't help his sweating problems. How did girls manage to stay still for so long without complaining about it?

  
"Here is the tiara." Maiya entered the room and quickly put the Silver thing on Kiritsugu's spiky head.

  
"Can you please hurry? I'm tired of sitting, and I feel all sweaty."

  
"Just a couple of minutes Kiritsugu, gosh!Maiya, help me doing his manicure, please?" The girl nodded and grabbed Kiritsugu's hands. "And also a pedicure, Maiya"

  
"Yes ma'am!"

  
"Wonderful." The only things Kiritsugu could move were his hands and feet, and now he was unable to. He felt like crying out of sheer desperation to just stand up or move. He wondered where Shirou went.

  
**[KIRITSUGU’S ROOM]**

 **  
** Shirou gasped as he gaped at himself in the mirror, flabbergasted. H-he looked like a GIRL!!! Well… he already look like one anyways…

  
He was wearing a green corset with transparent light green sleeves that started below his slim shoulder and ended and above his elbows. He scowled and tried to flatten the corsets narrow bottom that ended at his ankles and hugging his hips, revealing strapped, Green, high heels. And oh! Don’t forget that he was wearing a False Breasts inside the dress and much to his horror he had to wear ladies’ underwear.

  
Irisville Von Einzbern (Who'd been called in for back-up) tugged at the Silver strings on the back of the dress, causing Shirou to gasp for air.

  
"Stop scowling, you'll ruin the make-up," she chided.

  
"I wouldn't be scowling if this thing allowed me to BREATH!" Shirou snapped tugging at the front of the evil contraption that was his dress. Why the hell did the She have to pick a CORSET of all dresses!! He HATED how much he resembled a girl; he was constantly harassed in Every time in his separate Class for his girly features, this was pushing it!

  
"It's not THAT bad," Iris sighed giving the strings another tug, exaggerating Shirou’s already womanly hips.

  
"Gah! Stop that!" He cried.

  
"Oh, you men are such babies," Iris joked, smiling at Shirous glare. He was NOT a baby! It wasn't HIS fault he was ripped out of his comfort-zone

  
Iris ignored his hostile expression and rummaged through her make-up bag.

  
"Ah, here you are!" she exclaimed, pulling out an innocent pair of tweezers. Shirou stared distrustfully at them.

  
_‘Oh Shiet!’_ "What the hell is that for?" Shirou demanded, fearing the answer.

  
"Oh, nothing," Iris answered mischievously, taking small steps towards the nervous Brownie who’s close enough to become a Puddle in fright, "I'm just gonna take an itsy-bitsy, tiny bit of you eyebrows is all."

  
The Redhead's eyes widened dramatically. That was NOT part of his contract! There was no way on this PLANET he was getting his eyebrows plucked.

  
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" He chanted frantically as Iris took more small steps towards him.

  
"Aaah, don't be like that," Iris pouted. "The. Tweezers.Are.Your.Friend!" She said punctuating each word by plucking at his eyebrows.

  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………

  
"Ah! Stop! OW! That HURTS!"

  
The Brownie’s muffled, urgent, cries reached the other bedroom, which connected to the other room, to Archer and Diarmuid’s ears.

  
Diarmuid was wearing blue tuxedos and smelt faintly of cologne and Archer wearing a sleek light Red sleeveless gown with a long slit up the right leg, He’s also wearing a False Breasts in his dress. his long, Silvery White hair was pulled into a loose braid that slipped over his left shoulder, and he’s wearing a high heeled pair of sandal. Diarmuid looked to him, to the door, and back to him.

  
"What do you think their doing in there?" Diarmuid asked.

  
Archer shrugged and eyed the door.

  
"It's your Female Friend," You replied.

  
"And it's your Brother," Diarmuid retorted, receiving a plush pillow to the face

  
Finally the door was thrown open and a smug Iris, in all her puffy pink dressed glory, waltzed out of the bathroom.

  
"I present to you, perfection!" she cried bowing down and pointing to the door….

  
…. No one came out.

  
Iris sighed and stomped into the room, and bringing out the struggling Brownie, Diarmuid's jaws dropped, gaping like dying fish as he stared at Shirou, or in this case, Shiroyuki. He looked…. he was….. Wow Whoever’s going to be caught in the bait is going to be a Puddle of water once the groom saw his Future Wife is… Well… a Wife.

  
"What!" Shirou snarled, turning a very nice shade of red. They snapped out of their daze, and Diarmuid smiled.

  
Archer however were enjoying the trouble…

  
“You seem to be enjoying this so far…” Shirou… err… Shiroyuki hissed as he was glaring at his dress.

  
Archer grinned at his ruffled younger self and said

  
“I like pretty dresses.”

  
Shirou just growled, in a minute or two Kiritsugu came inside the room wearing a Blue colour, almost a formal gown. The bodice hugged Kiritsugu's body before flaring out into a shimmering skirt that hung just off the floor. There was a ribbon just below where the breast would be and somehow Maiya had managed to make it look like Kiritsugu had breasts at all. It was a strapless dress but it held so tightly to the blonde's form that the top was nearly skin tight. There was even a chocker of the same colour and a dangling diamond around his throat.

  
“Don’t you dare to laugh at me.” Kiritsugu growled.

  
“Why would I? We’re on the same boat here though Archie here is enjoying it.” Shirou said glancing at the taller male.

  
“Ladies underwear is soft…” Archer said quietly as he practiced to walk in high heels.

  
Shirou snorted and said

  
“Oh Please! Your underwear is way softer than Ladies Underwear, soft enough to make them scream in jealousy anyways.”

  
Archer turned to him in his feminine confusion. As if knowing the voiceless question

  
“Who do you think is the one doing the House chores and Laundry around here?” Shirou grumbled.

  
Kiritsugu snickered at that

  
“Careful Shirou… you’re showing your ‘Housewife Side’ for everyone to see.”

  
“Careful dad… you’re not acting like the Husband you are.” Shirou shot back and grinned at his Father. “At least I’m living up to my Nickname as ‘The Wife’… but you? I don’t know a Husband that wears a dress.”

  
Kiritsugu growled and squeezed Shirou in a Bear Hug…

  
_TO BE CONTINUED_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Wax part reminded me of my friends two years ago, it was a Dare that they'll have to wax off every hair in their body except the head, I told them it's a bad idea because I know what it felt like to be waxed all over the body. it took me a while to recover and up until now my sister kept laughing at me and making a joke about me going to wax my hair.
> 
> My friends did the dare, I told them not to do it because it's a bad idea. but noooo~! they did not listen and did the dare... I could've sworn I heard them screaming bloody murder half across the hallway where the comfort room would be.
> 
> And the next day they're limping weirdly, like a lizard trying to walk on its hind legs... Guess where they're hairless now...
> 
> I Told Them So...


	10. VOTING'S OVER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like the the number 2 and number 3 are catching up to number 4~!

TO GENDERBEND OR TO NOT GENDERBEND...

 

THAT IS THE QUESTION...

 

SHOULD I GENDERBEND OUR LOVELY BRIDES OR NOT?

 

 **TALLY POINTS** : 

 

GENDERBEND: **1**

  
NOT GENDERBEND: **2**

  
GENDERBEND ARCHER  & SHIROU: **2**

  
NO GENDERBEND BUT MPREG: **3**

 

I literally Spat my Tea out after reading the comment on The MPREG Part... I'll be keeping a tally point, I won't be posting a Chapter until which one of the four would have the highest Point.

  
Voting will End within a Week starting from now. 

 

If one of the four had the highest point I'll continue the story.

 

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**VOTING ENDS**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFEREE'S CORNER:
> 
> ENGEL: It's Over... They're Doomed...
> 
> SEIICHI: Utterly Doomed...
> 
> FISTOFLOVE: Soo~! Lancer, Gilgamesh are going to be Daddies in the End... the Problem is... Kiritsugu... who's going to be the... err... ummm... Daddy of Kerry's Baby in the End?
> 
> ANGELA: Hummm, that's going to be tough...
> 
> ENGEL: Oh Lord.
> 
> ANGELA: Oh Lord Indeed...


	11. AUTHOR'S NOTE 2

Now the Voting is over...

 

Out of the Four choices we got a Winner...

  
THE ONE THAT GOT A MAJOR VOTE IS:

 

**NO GENDERBEND BUT MPREG**

 

With voting points of 3

 

And with the most votes it's going to happen in later chapters, so please be patient.

 

Me and my Co-creators are going to discuss on this matters.

 

However, for the Next Chapter, it will be posted for another 2 or 3 Weeks or So... _~~We are currently busy right Now~~_... So Busy that we have a very little time with Internet.

 

If you want, you can tell us what is going to happen on the Next Chapter. 


	12. GOD DAMN IT! LET’S GET SERIOUS! [NOT AT THIS MOMENT, SORRY]

**[EINZBERN CASTLE]**

**  
** Everyone was gathered on the Grand Hall of the Einzbern Castle, Iris and the other girls had to drag both Kiritsugu and Archer to the Grand Hall, once you reached there you felt pity for both Kiritsugu and Archer because they’re the first one to get bombarded by other Males and if it weren’t for Lancer coming to Rescue Archer, and for once Kiritsugu was not hissing at Diarmuid, in fact he was clinging to the Irish Servant who was hissing at the other Males not to come near his ‘Wife’… Shirou looked around the Grand Hall to find any familiar faces to talk to, you saw Medea snogging away with her Partner and much to Shirou’s surprise Medusa was in a red flamenco dress, and a manila placed elegantly in her hair, Heracles was in a Victorian Dress and was trying to get out of sight, Assassin was talking to Saber, Saber was in her… well… Girly Yukata and was staying close to Rin as much as she could, the poor Servant was literally clinging to Rin, Sakura who was in a Sleek Red Chinese Dress was fleeing from Gilgamesh who Shirou blinked when Sakura decided to hide behind him which prompted the Blond King to look at him up and down, however Shinji is in the way.

  
“You’re Shiroyuki, Yes?” Shinji asked.

  
Shirou blinked at him owlishly and nodded…

  
“Mongrel! You are not Worthy of Her!” Gilgamesh called out.

  
Shinji squeaked and hid behind you prompting Gilgamesh to stop in front of the Brownie in disguise, he gave Shirou an intimidating yet rather appraising look, Shirou blushed heatedly at the attention, others would’ve fled the area if they were in his sandals (Shoes). Shirou noticed that some of the girls were wearing manly clothes and Gilgamesh was one of them (No way the King Shall Dress like a Girl!). He was wearing a White Button-up Shirt, with Cravat, Navy Coloured Slacks and formal Shoes for men.

  
“You are Good enough for the King.” he said lowly albeit conceitedly.

  
Shirou tilted his head to the side and before he knows it he was dragged on the dance floor. Gilgamesh demanded the DJ to Play Tango, Shirou squeaked girlishly at that. Rather than meet in the middle, Shirou and Gilgamesh picked spots on opposite sides of the dance floor, almost as far apart as possible. Gilgamesh stared at the floor—gathering his focus? Reviewing the steps? Resting? Who knew?—and Shirou watched his with baited breath.

  
And waited.

  
And waited.

  
And wai—POW.

  
Gilgamesh exploded into motion with the music, flinging out his arms as his feet twisted and snapped together. Shirou jumped, startled, as Gilgamesh continued with sharp, quick moves, showcasing his lean, Navy-clad legs. With twisting hips and poised arms, those beautiful legs kicked and spun as if he had no need for gravity, taking himself across the floor with little indication he knew or cared where he was going.

  
On the other side, Shirou delivered a similar performance, twirling skirt in a wide fan as he and Gilgamesh 'unconsciously' drew closer. The music sang with a melancholy melody and headstrong harmony, as if begging for a lover's touch while determined not to stop until sated. With a long kick from Gilgamesh and a twirl from the Brownie, the two met in the centre and fell into each other's arms, sinking low to the floor with one leg extended behind each of them in a long, sensual line.

  
It took Everyone’s breath away. Oh, God…

  
He wished time could slow down. Shirou wanted to engrave it all into his mind, the music, the movement, the sensation. This tango brought everything they had seen from the previous dances—the energy of the quickstep, the heat of the rumba, the charm of the waltz—and wrapped it all together with wild passion. The pair danced, so absolutely out of control, but at the same time, perfectly composed, twirling around the floor with careless precision.

  
Now that the partners were dancing together, Shirou's legs did most of the work, darting in and out of Gilgamesh's knees with each step, occasionally wrapping up around his waist. Meanwhile, Gilgamesh directed Shirou with his arms, turning him fractions of degrees so he spun, skirt flying, with grace and beauty. Occasionally Gilgamesh met him the tangle of feet, and they kicked their heels up in perfect synch.

  
Then Gilgamesh caught Shirou’s feet on top of his. He stopped moving, focusing instead on holding tight to Gilgamesh's shoulders as he danced for the both of them, movements sharp and fierce as ever, even with two pairs of legs to account for. The crowd screamed, but it wasn't until Shirou let himself drop, trusting Gilgamesh to hold him safely as he bent backward over him surprisingly strong arm. watching as Gilgamesh dipped the infamous Brownie of Homurahara a bit lower before pulling him back up and, with a quick little lift, swung his legs off of him, spinning him away and punctuating the whole sequence with a flick of his pointed toe.

  
Did Gilgamesh have any inkling of how sexy he looked? How much worse it got when, after another lift, Shirou lowered to the floor and slid through Gilgamesh's legs, one hand trailing behind along his inner thigh? Even jealousy lost out to the way Gilgamesh rolled his hips in that move, sending a ripple down his magnificent legs, thighs to heels, and Shirou had to bite back a sound even more humiliating than screaming.

  
The dance continued, building speed as they drew their motions in closer, adding more twists to already extremely complicated leg movement. Once, Gilgamesh even managed to thread his right leg behind Shirou’s back and used it to guide him along a turn. Just as the music reached its crescendo, Gilgamesh lifted Shirou onto his shoulder once more, his body parallel to the ground. After a rotation, he seemed to let him down, but suddenly rolled him up onto his shoulder again. Shirou twirled across his neck and slid down into Gilgamesh's waiting arms—one braced his left leg, the other his core, while his right leg anchored him to Gilgamesh's left, one arm snaking behind him and onto his shoulder.

  
Once the dance was over, Shirou couldn’t help but blush at the looks he get, he returned to the corner, he were a bit hungry so he helped himself with a Slice of Chocolate Cake and walked back to his corner. At the other side of the Hall

  
“So you’re saying Shiroyuki is not hefty?” Rin asked Archer.

  
“You saw it right? Even Gilgamesh can lift him up with no problems.” Kiritsugu chuckled.

  
“But…But how can he punch so hard without breaking his own bone?” Taiga asked.

  
“Shiroyuki can be a very tough cookie when he wants to be and besides when things will be hard for him, someone will be there for him.” Archer chuckled nodding to his Short Guardian’s direction.

  
And everyone saw Gilgamesh stood beside the Brownie who blushed when Gilgamesh planted a Kiss on his knuckles and was now wearing his Green Tux.

  
“Aye! They’re Ironically the ‘Green with Envy’ Pair…” Diarmuid said.

  
“Speak for your Self Dummy…” Kiritsugu grounded trying to get comfortable in his blue dress.

  
Yes… Diarmuid was wearing Blue Shirt and Matching Blue Slacks…

  
“Well, at least we wear blue.” Diarmuid said.

  
“Blue had another meaning aside from being a colour, idiot.” Kiritsugu said flatly and glared at Kirei who just suddenly appeared behind him. “Put your hands where I can see them.”

  
Kirei just grinned at the sight of his rival, Oh how much Kerry wanted to slap that grin off his face. Archer was snickering with the others as they listen at the unlikely trio.

  
“What’s up?” Shirou called up as he approached the group with Gilgamesh by his side.

  
“Oh, nothing Kerry is having another spat with Diarmuid.” Waver chuckled. “Nice dance by the way and seriously with Gilgamesh.”

  
“He’s not that bad... Egotistic but not bad...” Shirou stated quietly while blushing red.

  
As the Party goes on Shirou and Gilgamesh were in the Rose Garden to spend time together

  
“You almost fooled me with your Disguise, My Queen.” Gilgamesh said with a grin.

  
“Eh?” Shirou squeaked tilting his head on the side.

  
“I don’t know what’s got on your Parents heads but I don’t mind you dressing like that.” Gilgamesh said as his grin widens.

  
“Oh Umm... It... It’s only for the night.” Shirou said back pathetically. “But... that’s not what I am concerning right now.”

  
“Oh? And What are you concerned about?” Gilgamesh asked raising a brow in curiosity.

  
“The Outsiders... ummm... err... How should I say this...”  Shirou said looking away from his ‘supposedly’ Partner.

  
“Tell me, what is bothering my Future Wife...” Gilgamesh demanded quietly as he touched Shirou’s cheek lightly.

  
Shirou sighed and looked back at the Golden King and said

  
“I received a Word of Warning from a Friend, He said that the Yggdmillenia are planning on removing the Greater Grail from Fuyuki and take it for themselves. I’m Worried that they’ll use the Grail to rule the World and I don’t like that...”

  
It’s true, He’s scared that the Outsiders are planning on prolonging his ‘Friend’s’ suffering, The thought nearly made Shirou brought into tears but he can’t cry in front of a friend especially not in front of Gilgamesh. Watching Shirou smile sadly like that somehow making him felt guilty asking a sore question, while the other was busy thinking, he walked towards a near rose bush and pick a rose that in perfect bloom, once done picking he head back. At the corner of the wall Iris and her friends spied at the two, During the party she noticed that Shirou was heading to the garden along with Gilgamesh and she was getting curious by any seconds to why the two boys were heading to the empty garden where there are only the two of them. So she and her friends went to find out what are those two doing.

  
“What is that Bastard doing?” Archer asked.

  
“I think he’s going to give Shirou a Rose.” Kiritsugu answered.

  
“Yes! Yaoi time!”Iris hissed lowly.

  
“Wait he’s going to sit beside Shirou.” Archer said panicking lightly.

  
They watched as Gilgamesh sat beside at the auburn haired boy. Back at the fountain Gilgamesh sat beside the depressed, Dare he say it…Friend of his and try to cheer him up.

  
“Here.” He said as he hands over the rose he picked.

  
“Eh?” Shirou squeaked as the rose was lightly handed over to him, Shirou looked at his dare he say it... friend who wasn’t actually looking at him but he can guess that Gilgamesh was somehow embarrassed by his action…of course who wouldn’t the taller man was giving another boy a Red Rose at that for heaven’s sake! But he was trying to cheer him up, so he accepted the rose. “Thank you.”

  
Gilgamesh hummed in response and said nothing. There was silence between the two of them until Shirou broke it.

  
“You know, you’re the second person trying to cheer me up.” Shirou said holding the Rose close to him.

  
“Who was the first?” Gilgamesh asked flatly.

  
“Dad and Archer.”You answered.

  
“Figures…” Gilgamesh huffed lightly. Of course it had to be Kiritsugu and Archer who’s going to try and cheer people up whenever they can.

  
“Gilgamesh…” The boy beside him called out.

  
“Yes?”

 

“You know the rose you gave me is red?” Shirou asked it was an amused question.

  
“Why? Is something the matter giving a person a Red Rose?” Gilgamesh asked back glancing down at Shirou.

  
Shirou smiled lightly again and said. “You know according to the meanings of the flowers Red Rose means ‘Love’ and if a person gave this Red Rose to someone, according to the language of flowers means to say that person is telling that someone ‘I Love You’ especially if they were in a garden full of Roses, do you know that?”

  
Gilgamesh’s eyes widened as he look at Shirou that says ‘Are you serious?’ look. Shirou laughed at that expression it was priceless, it’s not every day he could catch the other male by surprise or off guard.

  
“Don’t worry, it’s just a rumour.” Shirou laughed lightly.

  
Gilgamesh glared his Future Queen, Shirou was a smart mouthed for his own good, but he liked that.

  
“We should head back.” Gilgamesh said as he stood up.

  
Shirou nodded as he were about to stand he felt his sore ankle stung, he winced slightly and almost stumbled as he tried to shift his weight on his feet. Shirou wince did not go unnoticed by Gilgamesh. His friend, thanks to his years of training, on impulse grabbed Shirou’s waist to prevent his fall.

  
“What’s wrong?” Gilgamesh asked in worry setting Shirou down.

  
“Oh nothing really, my ankle just stung from sitting here.” Shirou lied trying to get up.

  
But before he could even stand up, his ankle stung again and caused him to wince a little louder and toppled over from the pain, Shirou expect the cold tiled ground but he didn’t expect a soft and warm landing pad (That was Gilgamesh by the way), Shirou heard it groaned… wait… Landing pads don’t groan, Shirou’s eyes turned as round as the coin and looked down and saw Gilgamesh was the one he had landed on!

  
At the corner of the building, Iris, Kiritsugu and Archer watched as the two boys toppled on the ground when a blur of red ran past them and then.

  
“Oh My!” Lady Iris chimed loudly that the two boys on the ground probably heard.

  
“Indeed.” Lady Maiya chuckled.

  
“Why is Shirou on top of Gilgamesh?”  Kiritsugu and Archer asked Suspiciously and was leering at the duo.

  
On the ground Gilgamesh sat up quickly unconsciously holding the surprised boy beside him and looked at the two women and the other duo…

  
“It’s not what you think.” Gilgamesh said calmly.

  
“Oh it’s not what we think but what we think is that.” Iris said pointing at what the blond is holding.

  
Gilgamesh looked down and blushed lightly as the confused Brownie gave him a look saying ‘Err...Are you alright, why did you pull me all of a sudden?’ and let go of the boy and apologized.

  
The two women found it amusing as the two men –though one was a victim of Cross-dressing- stood up and help each other clean their clothes.

  
**[TIMESKIP, THE NEXT DAY]**

 **  
** Shirou wanted to slap both his Father and Archer with his Text Book as they kept smirking at him for no reason…

  
“Did you have a Nice Fall?” Kiritsugu asked with a pleasant smile on his face…

  
“Yeah, because your landing pad looks HOT!” Archer Teased.

  
**_WHAM! WHAM!_**

 ** _  
_** Shirou slammed his books on both his Father and Archer Facebooking them literally… he’s not in the mood for teasing today, just this dawn he got harassed by some Servants again, they don’t look the same as the ones who are chasing him, these new Servants are probably one of the outsiders.

  
“That’s enough Dad… Archer...” Shirou growled with a grin as the people in the Kitchen had gone silent.

  
Both Archer and Kerry paled when the others murmuring about them and the prominent one is:

  
“Hey Maiya! Are you done with the Diarmuid x Kiritsugu x Kotomine and Lancer x Archer Doujin? The First Volume?”

  
“Nope! Not yet I’m re-reading it! It was HOT!”

  
“No Fair! Can I read it with you?”

  
“Sure thing!”

  
By then both of Shirou’s companion to his Shame became as white as the Blank Sheet of Paper on the Table, they tried to talk but there’s no voice coming out of their mouth, Shirou’s  serious face turned amused, then his amusement turned into a full blown laughter when someone blurted something… and that something is

  
“What!? Kiritsugu and Archer is the Bottom?! No Fair!”

  
Archer became as transparent as the Glass of Water on the Table and Shirou was pounding on the table as he laughed, only to laugh even harder when someone snorted

  
“Of Course Semes Always Tops and again Tops!”

  
Kiritsugu became Fiery red in the Face, Shirou watch as how his two companions became even paranoid just by imagining about it. Kiritsugu turned to Diarmuid and was looking at him in horror

  
“Master whatever you’re thinking I’m not going to do anything to you!”

  
Then Someone have to be a Jerk and said: **“Yet!”**

  
Kiritsugu’s bottom lip quivered like he was about to cry

  
_‘Oh Dear…’_ Shirou thought smirking.

  
Kiritsugu was edging away from Diarmuid who was trying to Plead his innocence… and the Older Bride ran out of the House in Panic and Diarmuid was hot on his heels, Berserker and the others entered the Cafeteria and looked at Shirou in confusion.

  
“Looks like someone decided to take our predicament into a whole new level.” Shirou said nervously.

  
Illya is still not happy that her nii-chan had chosen that Golden King, but Berserker could accept that truth, he’s an adult and he should show Sportsmanship. But he’s not sure if the other Servants are happy about it, he knew some would try and dare to steal one of the brides for their own.

  
**[LATER THAT DAY]**

 **  
** Kiritsugu is out and running for his chastity again, and Diarmuid is desperate on saving his Master, the outsiders are in for the game on catch the bride, Kiritsugu swore he saw Lancer carrying Archer ‘Princess Carry’ Style while running away from the intruding Servants. He’s worried about Shirou though, since he had no idea where his Son is right now.

  
“MONGREL!” A Very Familiar roar of the Gold King echoed in the air.

  
And not long after that, a Griffin with a Pink Haired Rider was carrying Shirou away in the sky. Kiritsugu, who is lucky enough to ride his Motorcycle was saving his own ass from an Outsider’s Lancer of Black Vlad III and Berserker of Red Spartacus, He hits the gas and zoomed his way away from his chasers and accidentally ran Kirei Over with his Motorcycle when the said Priest was innocently walking on the Pedestrian Lane. Lucky no one is around to see the scene of the Crime... **(Author:** Don’t Worry, it will take more than just a Motorcycle to kill that Priest. **)**

  
Kirei on his part sat up after being ran over by a Motorcycle **(Author:** He’s alive! **)** and continued his way to his church like nothing happened. **(A/N:** I bet he’s Hurting A lot. **)**

  
**[BACK AT THE GREATER GRAIL]**

 **  
** Angra Mainyu can’t believe this, he did said that those three should go find worthy Partners and have fun, in Kiritsugu’s case he ran Kirei over with his bike. He almost coughed up blood in frustration.

  
“Children... nothing but Children... great! I feel too old for this shit.” He muttered shaking his head.

  
**(A/N:** I Hate to break it to you Old Man... You’re what? Over a Several Thousands or almost a Million Years Old, so Technically... You’re Old. ***** _Gets Stabbed_ ***)**

 **  
** Playing Hard to Get is very tiring, why can’t they just get along and _**‘Get It On’**_ already!?

  
“These Brats are driving me stir crazy!” Angra Mainyu huffed and petulantly sits down.

  
**(A/N:** Says the one who is also crazy. ***** _Gets Stabbed again_ ***)**

  
Angra Mainyu hated that little voice, it’s annoying.

  
**(A/N:** I’m Not A Little Voice, I’m the Author. **)**

  
“Author my Ass...” The Avenger grumbled.

  
**(A/N:** Hey! **)**

  
Angra Mainyu ignored the Tiny Voice and continued watching the Brats running. One day, once he gets out of this stupid Cup **(A/N:** Grail **)** , He’ll definitely scold these brats. **(A/N:** Grandpa has spoken! ***** _Gets Stabbed all over again_ ***)** , he had to put up with the damn voice first. **(A/N:** I don’t know whether to be happy or insulted. **)**

  
“It’s a Damn insult, Bitch!” Angra Mainyu screamed in the air.

  
**(A/N:** One day... One day I shall have my revenge. **)**

  
“Bring it!” Angra Mainyu challenged.

  
**(A/N:** Oh I will... You Just Wait... **)**

  
_TO BE CONTINUED_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO... SHOULD I LET OUR HOLY GRAIL RESIDENT (ANGRA MAINYU) BECOME A BRIDE TOO? WHO SHOULD I PAIR HIM TO?
> 
> ANGRA MAINYU: YOU WOULDN'T DARE!
> 
> FIST: TRY ME!


End file.
